5 Signs your guy is hooked on PORN

On another attempt to dive into the unseen side of guys, porn entered with the perfect entourage. Presenting a once in a lifetime chance to walk through such a thorny and private matter. Sex is crucial to men, hell it's like the number one definer of manhood. And not just in our culture, but it's wherever men go! A strong, hunky man must have at least one experience, girls dig that; they love dangerous skilled womanizers. Yet, how did they come about those skills is beyond a girl's mind. Or to be honest, it goes more like having a trail of women who were nothing compared to her self! Yes, women have huge egos to…

And that's where the problem resides, the limits of our imagination. Guys can lie, beautify disgusting acquaintances into a 007 steamy night and girls will believe that. Not because we're stupid, God knows we're not, but because we wish that this is how it happened. Not in a locked up room with downloaded x-rated movies! Porn, whether you like it or not, is a phase most guys pass by. It's enough to mention that 85% of porn web-browsers are men, which means your guy has only 15% chance for a legitimate alibi!

Why he does/like it is crucial to draw the fine line between just curiosity to "honey, I can't get enough!" First of all, most men don't regard "watching" porn as cheating, as they're not doing it with an actual person. In fact, porn to guys is nothing more than a stimulatory- relief tool. Unlike women, who upscale porn to the same level as having a mistress! Knowing this, porn is sometimes used by guys to grab their partners' attentions. So, if his porn-zone is out in the loose then he either doesn't care about your feelings anymore or he's trying to send you a clear message that he's craving some extra attention but he's certainly not plain dumb. However, guys might resort to porn out of boredom or as the easiest way to "breaking the habit". But, what might start out as nothing but a waste of time might very well turn into a life-wrecker, especially with those of addictive personalities. Where porn's transition hops from surfing the internet to an accustomed habit to an actual disastrous problem with no psychological addiction to watching nude people specifically but to the euphoric state "too much excitement" brings. And since you're the only one who can spot his reasons, then it's you who can detect the signs that your own guy is doing PORN…

1. All about his needs!
Ever since sex has been categorized as a manly right, guys' selfish reputations in bed have crossed all borders. Women were ranked based on their abilities to please him, pictured as a porn-like tool and enslaved for the very same reason. Generally speaking, it has been scientifically proven that sexual experiences based on only pleasing oneself, including porn, masturbation or paying for sex, yields selfish partners who only care about their needs and their satisfaction. So ladies, if your husbands' attentions have been shifted to themselves, let's just say you need to keep your eyes open!

2. Quality & Quantity
If your guy has resorted to porn, it's only logic to say that the sex frequency will be affected. And not necessarily less, as most guys view porn for excitement, not relief which means things may get steamier. The worst part though is that you're not the reason why he's overly worked. In fact, many women take the rise up as an indicator that their relationship is getting stronger, when the truth is that their men are just compensating for guilt feelings, also true when cheating, or simply getting off!

3. Privacy requested!
Isolation falls right into place when hooked up on porn. He no longer wants to go out, while encouraging you to "live your life". He's very secretive about his drawers, laptop and car. He lays off his friends to stay alone and of course switching off the screen when you walk in. So, don't brag about how your husband had changed to this open-minded creature. Your happiness is not his intention, it's whatever that can get you to stop breathing down his neck is what matter the most.

4. Sudden Swaps
Most men when having their minds set on the likes and dislikes of feminine features, it's pretty much hard to change. This means that if he swore all his life that he hates big boobs and now he seems to like them a bit too much, that's usually your queue for only 3 options:
a. He's seeing someone else with big boobs.
b. His favorite porn star is sporting humungous boobs
c. Your bell has stopped ringing for him, i.e. you don't turn him on anymore.

5. Laying off focus
Much like a thief who walks around accusing others of stealing, porn addicts do the same, mostly out of guilt. They want to feel better by pointing out everyone's flaws. And sometimes they want to pick your brains on the subject, see how you feel about this whole thing by telling their own story under someone else's name. Based on your reaction they'll either decide to tell you, go cold turkey or sink a little deeper in their porn-based lives…

Things that bring guys to tears (CONVO April 09)

2d eh ana far7ana! And I thought men were heartless. However when they're stripped off their muncho act, male ego and cultural pressure, their soft-core rises up like a phenox from the ashes. Don't get me wrong ana msh fr7ana fehom, God forbid, I'm just relieved. The whole men can cheat without feeling guilty is a rumor, the fact that they can move on in a blink of an eye is an anecdote and the no tears policy is just a cover for their frowned upon feminine sides. I asked the toughest men I know, what can make you cry? I promised complete anonymousness and I will deliver. Besides who cares about the names when the story is this good?!

There's always been this raw magnetism which attracted me to men who cry. Men who are strong, powerful and very much confident about their masculinity, that it's not a shame to cry. Girls can relate to what I'm saying here, Hercules is a hunk mafesh kalam but it's his humanitarian side and special moments that made him more than just an eye candy. I don't mean whiny men, God no, no one likes that. But it's comforting for a woman to feel that her man, her protector, her mountain, can understand her sorrow or her non-women drama, as one of the men puts it. That being said, let's scan men for their soft core…

1. Death
That was not much of a scoop here; I mean it's the accustomed answer.
Girl asks a guy: When was the last time you've cried?
Guy answers: mmm, when my grandma died, I guess.
It's the male-perfect explanation with which he escapes the risk of being heartless and he lands in the just right zone of not sounding too girlie. So, I had to dig deeper for the real deal…

2. Failure
Whether it's related to relationships, achievements, understanding oneself or money. Let's pause at the money part for a moment, men everywhere, not just in our culture, are providing-oriented, they're born producers not consumers. Thus, it's a real ball buster when the man feels that he can not provide. Things get even worse when the women in his life recognizes his failure. "I feel as if I'm not even man enough to give her what she deserves" one of the interviewee said. Failure strikes hard for both genders, but from the male point of view, the less people know about this low-point, the easier for a man to deal with. It all has to do with their caves and their refusal to share. So, they end up mourning their "ability to provide"

3. Injustice
"Part of being man is to be free," M. said. This is very true for one of the few things a mother would tell her daughter about men, which is similar to what John Gray named as the rubber band effect. Men need their spaces, they need to be left alone to think, work, act, decide before they come flying to their lives. Thus, more than women, should understand that, but they don't. Most men don't grant women the same pleasure and confine their choices, leading to injustice. For men, confining them is a killer, taking away their right to say no is soul sucking and having to stand helplessly while others are being subjected to injustice is manhood slaughtering. That's why many guys admitted that seeing poor, sick and dying people bring tears to their eyes. But unlike women, tears aren't coming from feeling sorry, but from the I can't do anything to help them side.

4. "WOMEN"
Yes! Now we're talking… The men crying because of women deal is a four-fold matter. According to my muncho men, they cry when they're:
a. Conquered: Recently, many people have been leaning on women who took the equality quarrel a bit too far and I'm one of them! To tell you the truth, I almost lost my man because of the whole women=men
crap. It took me a while to differentiate between equality and identical-ity. Someone must wear the pants in every relationship, it can't be both. If a woman chose to take the lead, then she'll be deprived from feeling like a woman, who's loved, approached and protected, the normal amount of course. And her man will feel lost! He's not a man in his relationship, he's not even a woman, he's just a human being. When men feel that way, decent men cry, not-so-decent men cheat! They go for the woman who can praise their ego and happily allow them to wear their much fitted pants.
b. Breaking-up: "I cried while writing a message to a girl that I got really attached to, and I had to leave for some specific reasons" O. confessed. Many men related to that and I was really pleased that for them love hurts for them too. But, one of them had to ruin it for me by saying " btw, the 2nd situation wasn't like I burst into tears or something, they were just a few drops (man's ego :D)" Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh
c. "When missing my girl": Now, that’s so cute, manly and says a lot about the effect women could have on men's lives if they're gone. To tell you a little something, it's not easy for a man to hand in his secrets to any woman, let alone his sweetheart who he needs to impress with his colored, flawless feathers.
d. Humiliation: Mockery is men's worst fears, especially when it's coming from the ones they're trying too hard to impress. There are certain things a woman should never tease a man about including height, physic, financial status and attitude. And this is an article I'm working on now, for, from men points of view it's not accepted to happen whether in private or in public or else, he'll go searching for someone who can appreciate his manhood.

5. And finally MOVIES!
S. said; "a7yanan bashoof regala keteer 3enehom bedama3 3ala mash-had drama fel tv, bas lama tewagheehom yenkeroo awy we ye2adoha de7k" With men confessing that they enjoy the occasional dramatic scenes in movies, but my own, whom I swear saw teary, but is still denying it! Balance has been restored to the universe and I still appreciate men who are peaceful with their emotions, 23teref ba2a… Walahi msh ha2oul l 7ad!

Men you don't want to be! (Euphoria Magazine April '09)

The first rule every woman receives when about to enter the relationships' world is avoid the cheater, the liar and the cheap. The reason why those three traits stood solid through the test of time is not because of their frequency but because of their distinguishable luminosity visible only to women. Yes! Women can detect the liar, sense the cheater and feel the cheap. However, there are other markers or to be more specific snags surrounding men's personalities which immediately place them on the "men to be avoided" list. So, in order to escape being on that list you don't want to be:

1. The critic
I hate that! Every woman breathing or dead hates that too! Females are sensitive, that's just a curse men have to deal with and so cornering her every move, thought or even taste is suffocating and parentally! Generally speaking, criticizing is unidirectional, it goes from a superior person to someone he believes to be less superior. Thus if your criticism is moving past the it's for your own good phase then she'll react in either of three ways;
a. despise your voice since all you have to say are brutal judgments,
b. bottle up the bitterness inside until she' overly saturated or
c. respond in various aggressive ways that might seem irrelevant to your excessive criticism.
But regardless of the conducts, you'll end up with you getting dumped!

2. The Analyzer
Women of all ages crave men who can listen, understand, empathize and appreciate. But being a listener is one thing and being an analyzer is a completely different thing! Being understood inside out is sweet but being transparent is simply anti-human. Having a partner with whom a woman can unwind and speak her mind unguarded is one of the strongest reasons why she's in a relationship and probably the same reason why she's willing to leave Freud for a deaf man!

3. The rebounder
Saving a drowning man is pretty heroic and an excellent ego booster for women as well. She'll feel more feminine knowing that she has healed your broken heart and made you forgot all about the other woman.
Then why is this repulsing? The problem happens in the security context for it won't be long before she questions your relationship, is it a real thing or just a matter of time before you go hunting! It all depends on your punch line, if it's I just got out of a messy breakup then she'll gladly do the necessary amendments, restore your faith in women, have her moment of glory and leave. She knows it's a rebound relationship from the start, she's not stupid, she knows you're a rebounder and so you're meant to be cut off!

4. The wandering-eye man
Why is it a manly thing?! Whenever I asked a man, why do you check other women out? He casually replies "Because I'm a man!" I, on the other hand, trying my best to silence the demons yelling kill him, decided to search for the logic in his sentence. I even doubted my own information! To the extent that I spent hours researching for a fact to prove that men automatically cheat! Of course there was none, even the infamous monogamy gene is to be found in both men and women. Then it's a mixed matter of respect, self-control and commitment. Women didn't get the impression that men only think with their "sticks" from no where, on the contrary, it took an endless series of stories and stolen glances to build that reputation up. That women escape the company of such men, not only because of their disgusting habit, but because being around a wandering-eye man destroys what's left of a woman's self-confidence and accordingly he has to go!

5. The virtuous guy
It's hard living under the microscope where everything is magnified and divided according to borderlines. Usually preaching is done by parents, those loathed instructions of what's right and what's perceived as wrong without convincing reasons is probably the reason why we're not that attached to them anymore. What any normal person would do when facing such condensed pressure is run towards those who he/she deeply love and know that they won't judge! But when the partner is all about setting rules, defining what is acceptable and what is not, blaming and condemning, directing and moralizing, the entire thing just seem worthless. It's true that a woman loves to feel the wings of a man surrounding her existence, protecting her from whichever dangers she's about to get herself into, yet in a non-parenting, repulsive way. Why is everything wrong? Why the stiffness of the mind? And why the hell are you guiding her? Communicate, debate, convince and every woman will listen. Scare, threat, yell, force and you'll be researching for alternative ways to reproduce!

6. The insecure
Finding a romantic man is like discovering treasure, finding a clingy romantic man is like finding a rotten skull midst the jewels! That's really how bad it is.
As almost every woman dreams of the gentleman who meets her with a flower in his hand and romantic words on his lips, it's the once in a while surprise that defines him as a man who is romantic, not the other way around. But those who speak, walk, talk and sometimes even stalk are clingy beings; women won't see them as men. Unlike what most men believe, women cherish their spaces and they do sense pretentious gestures. If you don't really miss her, she'll know, if you don't really trust her, she'll know and if you don't trust yourself, she'll know it too. At first, your insecurities will seem nice to her, it's nice to have a powerful man feel scared of loosing a woman, it feels good but soon enough, time after time, suffocation after another, she'll translate those signs to insecurities and BAM! You're out of the picture!

7. The changer
As a rule of thumb, no one is capable of changing others. As a matter of fact, I can better relate to helping people see their capabilities and good sides rather than changing them! I can also relate to people trying to adjust to their partners' needs and personalities but not change for them. Since in the end truths prevail, people go back to their normal selves and realize they've been trapped in their own bodies. It's either you love her the way she is or not, for if you keep on putting words in her mouth, brainwashing her with your thoughts, she won't be an individual, but another Stepford wife. Even the Stepford wives took a stance and rebelled, putting their men down!

Closure Chaos

Since there’s no such thing as a break-up manual, people usually go for the least stressful techniques. But homa doul eli gom yeka7aloha 3amoha bgd, because though that technique or strategy might seem harmless at first but the outcome is disastrous like you wouldn’t believe…

Never saw it coming!
Finally found someone who’s a real gentleman, one who provided her with the space she needs and still managed to be by her side. She loved him deeply that when he left for a- two weeks-job she decided to pay him back, so she went for a complete make-over and was dying to see the look on his face when he sees her… On the day of his arrival, he didn’t call, didn’t answer nor replied her messages. She considered all the possible excuses other than eno nafadlaha. She lingered for days even after she knew he’s fine and back to his normal life. She awaited that call but instead she received one from her friend consoling her for the break-up she never knew happened in the first place… It’s the way you end a relationship that determines how you’ll be remembered, she’ll always remember that guy who didn’t have the guts to tell her it’s over and you know how girls and gossips match thus I hope he meets someone else from a different continent because he’s pretty much done here!
Run for your liiiiiiiiiiiiifeeeeeeee!
Girls are not that comfortable with break-ups either, but we do have one privilege though, guys are less emotional so we wouldn’t have to deal with tears, may be screams! Thus the only way to avoid all the explanation is to trick him into breaking up with her, that way she’s the victim and he’s the cold-hearted monster L To do that, every single thing that’s a deal-breaker is in trial, starting with socializing with other guys to provocative clothes. If he turned out to be a cold blooded amphibian, there’s always spending more time with the girlfriends, shutting him out and of course the tough trio, whining, nagging and totally dependant, tears or no tears he can’t take it any longer, now the “we need to talk” part is in order and voila free as a bird with wala men shaf wala men dri!

El sara7a mesh ra7a!!When out of options, people tend to turn to honesty, thinking it’s the only salvation …WRONG!! If by honesty you’re aiming for a quite, noble break-up then you’re destined to a bitter fight. Here’s why, people who are deeply in love tend to get more disappointed, they feel betrayed and shocked when their partners announce they want out. I mean one bad news is enough for the day; you don’t have to over do it with el dameer elly s7y fag2a to thread all the flows and annoying facts that will make the one who loves you the most feels like the worst person alive! I say go for the simple “it’s not working for me” That should do the trick!!
Can’t let go! Perseverance is a great quality, but when it comes to a relationship where the other literally loathes you and you keep calling for 3 years da fara3’!
Loosing control over your emotions is sort of a given in closures but what happened to that guy is pure bad luck; he fell for this girl who’s very weird, into magic and spells. After sometime- lama faa2 ya3ny- he saw the incompatibility and it’s clear what he had to do. Shortly after he started having the worst nightmares ever that pushed him to insomnia, now he’s loosing his mind wondering if what’s happening to him is because of the spells or the mind games she’s always playing with him as she’s literally everywhere he goes. It’s never easy pushing people away but to stop them from messing with your head… Good luck with that!

Enty tstahly 27san meny!!This is hilarious bgd… A guy is breaking-up with his girlfriend, not because of her intolerable qualities but because he fears for her well-being!
He said that he’s willing to sacrifice his happiness for her, that he cares too much about her and fears that his over flowing love is going to hurt her!!
Allow me this question, if ever a girl meets a guy who puts her needs ahead of his will she ever let him go?? NO!! That guy’s everything she’s been looking for! Of course she’ll be sticking to him like glue, supporting him through whatever his imaginary problems were cause that’s the least he deserves. Instead of a break up he got trapped because he’s acted like a rare male breed when his not, 2olna el kdb 5eba!

Mommy; where do babies come from?! (CONVO March'09)

First off, you have to know that I've been trying too hard to keep my distance from conventional introductions to such topic but it seems that when one fears something the most, it scurries relentlessly back to him! And so it hit me that I have to put it out there in the universe, as to may be, just may be, they can let me be. Hence, for the sake of exorcising the tedious demons here goes the most boring intro, which by the way you're more than welcome to skip:
Curiosity comes as a natural human trait characterizing healthy observant individuals thus it's very common for children to develop particular interest in the world around them especially their own origin. "Mommy; where do babies come from?!" is thee question we've all asked our parents one day and looking forward to more alike ones from our future children…

That being finally said, I can now breathe lightly and start up the mockery! Smart huh?
Moving on, while deliberately refraining from my previous slip, I want to share with you how I got the idea. Ever since I was introduced to the term Sexology back in 2004, I had this urge to learn how parents, in Egypt, handle such sticky question. Back then facebook ceased to exist thus all I could do was a simple raw questionnaire asking people if they knew what the term sexology meant? Of course I don't need to mention Egyptian's extraordinary abilities to make up stories, so you can probably imagine the type of answers I got. We fast forward to 2009 where facebook remains as human's greatest invention, I was finally able to ask different people of different ages from different backgrounds what did their mothers tell them when asked, Mommy; where do babies come from?!

To list the answers just like that won't convey the awesomeness of the stories; accordingly I shall arrange them according to frequencies. One, being the most and six, being the least used! Enjoy…
1. When two get married, they pray God so hard to bless them with a baby and as soon as God sees that they are good people who got married, He blesses them with a child! (The typical Egyptian story)
2. There's this baby market where only legitimately married couples can enter and buy as much babies as they please. (If only it was this easy)
3. You go to a supermarket, buy a seed, plant it in a pot and when it's all ripened up, it blossoms to a beautiful little baby (Wasn't that how the creepy tiny Thumbelina came to the world?!)
4. When a boy kisses a girl, she becomes pregnant and a baby is born, so don't ever let a boy kiss you. (And people wonder why we have sexophobia!)
5. We went to a pharmacy where the pharmacist pulled out a pill and handed it to me, I took it, you grew in my tummy and nine months later you were born. (Oh My God, the Janice way)
6. Watch "Look, who's talking" (That's really smart!)

Of course that's only as far as kids who have enough guts to discuss such prohibited topic with their parents go as well as the parents who prefer fictional stories over the truth. For there are many who were too shy to ask the question and consequently to this day their parents still brag about their super parenting skills as they never had to deal with that embarrassing moment, if only they know!
Similarly there are many parents who overlooked that question and took their children's shutting up about it as a sign that they let the subject go. Again, if only they knew! Simply because people talk, at school the so called bad kids mix with the good kids and voila the genie is out of the box…
Well, I hate repeating clichés but it's inevitable for me to say that people will eventually get to the info they desperately seek. Whether it's wrong or right, affecting or effecting that's what I personally find important. As many of the people I asked who couldn't bring their natural curiosities to their parents, ended up looking for books, watching movies of which you know the nature of or searched the web for decently portrayed truth. The results of which appear in the form of undeniable scars for life, sexophobia, uncontrollable urges, ruined marriages or unnecessary experiences!

The serious talk
Once again I find myself calling for sexual education which I believe should start from Kindergarten! Yes, that early giving the numerous sexual harassments a child is exposed to from the least threatening people; the maids, the swimming coaches and even the doctors. It shouldn't include much info as not to cause real damage but just emphasis on the fact that no one is allowed to enter a bathroom with you, see or touch the genital area. Send the message out of love, care and religious preaching not out of freaking them out! And so as they grow up they'll start wondering why boys wear pants while girls wear dresses, you can simple mention the different qualities separating boys from girls. Saying that boys are more muncho than girls, they prefer running around, play football and so God designed them for more labor work. While girls are sweet, they walk nicely, love their dolls and so God designed them for being mothers. And so by following this trend, their appetite for more info will be directed to a clearer path making the next best question where do babies come from? But before I tell you what I think should be the answer, many of my friends who kindly replied to my question swore off to tell their kids nothing but the truth and I agree! Yet in an age appropriate manner. How? The three year old child, although asking the exact same question as the 6 year old, isn't looking for the same answer though! So, by asking children questions about what exactly do they want to know, an answer can be given. For example, if from where did you get my sister question was asked, answer with the truth, because I love your father deeply and we did the right thing by getting married and living together forever, God blessed us with you then with her. Fair enough! You see, it all comes down to expressions and level of clarity, use the right words and the amount of info they should know, may be even get them children pregnancy books but never lie so as not to one day be faced with the fact that your drama is repeating itself again in the form of your child!

How to make peace with your in-laws? (HE SAID SHE SAID March '09)

The ordeal of surviving the constant naggers!
There are two inevitable disasters in life people can't change, control or even enhance; parents and the in-laws to follow! There's no escape and unfortunately there can't be any turn backs. Thus, one finds himself over night forced to not dine, not talk, not visit but live with people he's grown to despise. Yet, as life always manages to surprise us with one of its silly ridiculous jokes, we are left with no other option but to laugh. And so my dear readers, we are going to laugh our way out of this snag to a summery place where in-laws are rarely seen or to be more realistic, where it's okay to see them. Accordingly, I hereby promise to provide you with nothing but 100% tested tips on how to silence the constant naggers, all of which have been tried on humans before!

The corrected version of the 6 mistakes couples do when facing the in-laws war!

1. Emancipation!To start dwelling on such sore subject, first you need to read the coming two sentences thoroughly and absorb them all in, as to exorcise the "I can easily ride my in-laws out of my spouse's heart" idea!
1. The other woman in every man's life is his mother
2. The other man in every woman's life is her father
Do I really need to say more or is it quite clear that you can't compete with your in-laws even if their own child loathes them?!

2. Waiting around for some unexpected miracle to come and fix this crappy relationship!Though it might seem like the easiest option, but from where I stand it looks more like a negative attitude. So, you need to speak up for yourself, in a decent respectful way as not to hurt your spouse. If that doesn't or didn't work and you're in confidence that your approach wasn't the problem, don't you dare commit the next mistake!

3. BackstabbingAs some people fail to express their anger in a relieving way, they tend to seek revenge, even the score or show them who the boss is in an indirect manner which usually involves kids! Yes, many people use their children to get back at their cruel in-laws by trash talking them in front of the children, weeping heavily while declaring that their misery is of the grandparents' making or even worse, narrating fake stories their grandparents super smacking abilities! Ruining your kids' childhood and punishing your in-laws certainly doesn't match up, so you have to find another way to communicate your enragement other than through your babies!

4. Calling an outsider for help!If you're looking for a real war then please use that option! Otherwise, keep the wretchedness to yourself! Still, you can vent about the cold looks and harsh comments as much as you please but never get anyone involved especially your parents! Because, even if you finally succeed to get on good terms with your in-laws, your parents won't forget! So the bottom line is, fight your own battles!

5. Expecting an apology from the in-laws!One would hope! But, alas, this will never happen. To start with, they are much older, thus they expect complete forgiveness and utter respect without saying a word. They'll just treat you in a nicer way and that should be enough of an apology for you, plus expectations ruin any kind of relationship let along in-laws relationship!

6. I'm only marrying you & I'll have nothing to do with your family!What a twaddle because when marrying someone, you're kind of agreeing to the whole package. And it doesn't matter if you're living near or mountains away for they'll always send you their best regards in marital problems form! So, this point can really help you cope with your in-laws. How?!
- Always involve your partner in your concerns and worries. If from day one you sensed that his parents aren't that easy to deal with, break it to him in a sly way by saying "I hate to see us suffer because we can't get along with each other's parents, hence I want you to know how my parents are like and the best way to deal with them and I want to know yours" And start with yours first!
- Take crucial decisions on the level of any of the in-laws involvement whether in your lives or your kids
- Finally, if things get completely out of hand, resort to your partner as it's their responsibility to amend your relationship with his/her parents.

The 6 traits marking Egyptian Mothers (Identity March '09)

Whilst welcoming motherhood with open arms, each mom prepares the to-do and not-to-do list as a helpless attempt to escape the horrendous mistakes their very own Egyptian mothers had made. They try too hard to break away from the accustomed parenting techniques that all else fails but the dreadful ones they once loathed. That is when the mothers start to wonder whether the problem lies in their kids, their inability to manage their discipline or is it just pure Karma?!
But the truth of the matter is, none of our mothers had the privilege of receiving parenting courses before delivering us to life and so the tragedy continues with each dabbling her way to proper upbringing while unconsciously maintaining the 6 traits marking Egyptian mothers…

Gossip-based parenting!Generally speaking, people find themselves at loss for words all the time, there’s nothing shameful or boorish about that. Just like those jiffies when the very same people get bored of hearing scandalous stories that they cleverly cover the boiling veins with an excuse to answer the door as to not miss the chance for a recite! However, Egyptian mothers drastically differ from the bespoken human nature because of two reasons:
1. The Socio-code which states that even though work has been once again restored as the final independence attempt on the middle-eastern women’s side, mothers are still, to this day, ripped off blindly from this right under the name of motherhood. Once blessed with a child, every working mother receives the look denoting consuming blames for this heartless selfish creature who chose career above her child! And so, after only a few brainwashing sessions, the mother voluntarily quits her life- sought career and settle for the higher status of a stay at home mommy. I’m not saying that all women quit their jobs voluntarily, nor that stay at home moms are less of achievers. It is the socio-code that specifies stay at home moms as the only accepted Egyptian mothers!
2. The Socio-code after mass forcing the now accepted Egyptian mothers to fill their plentiful spare times with requesting the chitchats they cheated and an extra bonus of believing whatever they’re told.
Accordingly, one may come to a credible finale on why almost all Egyptian mothers manage to see nothing but the dark side of their children. It only takes two stories of a daughter slipping into a secret illegitimate relationship and a son replacing his future with drugs to get the inspection process started! Suspecting every move, sniffing around for clues and re-evaluating the company along their children to manage the fears and put all doubts to rest. Of course by that time, the mother and child relationship would have gone irreversibly south and one would wonder why kids of today don't talk to their parents anymore!

When over protection prevails!Following up on the Socio-Code and the fact that Egyptian females are born to sacrifice their all for their families' welfare, overprotection comes as the next expected step. It's only inevitable, since moms all over the world are being judged based on their care-giving abilities. Egyptian mothers, on the other hand, surpass the maximum capabilities to jump straight into the-breathing-down-the-neck zone as to rest their consciousness assure from the worry of not watching over their kids enough. And because children come as the apple of their mothers' eyes, they are the ones who truly suffer from the excessive love, undue attention and endless disciplinary talks. Since as a society, we believe that the more attention you squander the more conservative your offspring will be! Hence, as far as I've witnessed, overprotected children come in three editions;
a. Too spoiled to handle individuality
b. Too anxious to explore the restricted pleasures
Or c. too clogged with rules to allow indiscretion
And so, I hereby come to the conclusions that overprotection yields no psychologically healthy individuals

All deserves punishment but my child!One might falsely assume that the overprotection issue ends with a child growing up. Complete nonsense! Pull up a chair and pop up the corn for misery is about to start, specifically around the same time as developing identities! Simply because this is the dangerous age, as named by some mothers, where scrutiny is a must and privacy is prohibited. Consequently, a child is never allowed to have a life on his/her own, there's no such thing as private phone calls, no such thing as diaries and locking doors is just out of question! So, as a result of the 24/7 watch, any mother would be reluctant to believe that her carefully brought up child could screw things up! That's why a defense campaign never fails to start when her perfect angel is met with accusations. A mother would typically use two weakening weapons on such occasions; her tears and her screams! How many mothers have we seen on TV crying their eyes out and calling for heaven's justice for their children who most of the times end up convicted? Their sound attempts and tireless voices have always confused me, even when all hands point to no one but their children, they're still standing still. Only one of the disappointed mothers brought this whole matter to my attention when she pleaded for another trial reasoning the fact that she's utterly sure of her child's manners, that the holiest of holy people might do wrong but her son won't, that others might deserve punishment but her son don't for she spent her sweat and blood for his wellbeing and there're not enough words to convince her otherwise!

Food is For how much I love you!It's the Egyptian trademark, food conveys love! That's right, if an Egyptian woman want to own her Egyptian husband she should cook for him, if an Egyptian wife want to impress her in-laws, she should surprise them with a complicated self-made meal and if an Egyptian family wishes to welcome a guest, they do so by stuffing him/her with food. Accordingly, it comes as no surprise when a mother chooses to express her endless, unconditional love for her own child with food?!
And along comes childhood obesity, lack of self-control, harsh requirements for the woman he'll one day hurt by marriage, eternal fattening food for the husband and so food becomes the only way of communication. Because despite of what I can call a rising time for awareness, when a child is not seen as a ball rolling on the floor, a mother is not considered dedicated enough, careless or even poor! It doesn't matter if that mother dreams of raising her kids healthily and is determined to save them the long tiring road of weight loss by controlling their cravings. No! She has to feed him/her till they vomit, after all that's the only acceptable way of showing ones love, talking gives a headache, showering with gifts turn the child spoiled, planning for his/her future is a lack of faith but food gives healthy bloody cheeks!
- The guilt-driving parenting technique
Almost every mother raised her kids by means of fear, fear from God, fear from the parents, fear from the people, fear from the bogyman and fear from rotten food. That way, the error expectancy can crushed down to almost zero, of course that's just what they think, and if the child ever decides to go wild on them they can bring some sense in him/her by the means of the guilt-driving technique!
Certainly, the technique varies between Egyptian mothers; however, there are certain approaches that lie in common. The likes of the look that's enough to melt the skin off my face, the how could you after all what I've done for you, too dramatic for forgetting to set off the silent application and of course the speech! The speech is what you can call a full house, first it starts with an alluring drag to a private quite room, afterwards as the child innocently sits down the look come off to pound his/her heart and then a storm of words comes as a paved road for the punishment that lies ahead. This is the traditional, direct and most used guilt technique. The indirect one is actually pretty smart where the mother would drop in uninvited criticizing comments regarding anything and everything. Ranging from the never appealing wardrobe selection to parenting skills, all under the umbrella of because I fear for you!

The anti-talking factorWhoever planted the belief that parenting only involves preaching should be shot! As, to this day, the talking factor in most families ceases to exist. Looking at this parental silence from the parents' zone, you'll find that all the talking circulates around orders, preaching, studying, curfews, allowance and of course criticizing. And from the kids' zone, you'll also notice that all that is considered worthy of discussing with parents are curfews, allowance and groundings. Therefore, communication only happens when financial or social needs have to be met, but what about the psychological humanitarian side?! Doesn't happen as both parties are trying to avoid awkward conversations, awkward silence and awkward looks! May be it's the kids' fault for not opening up to their parents about their worries, however, I choose to burden this huge problem over the parents' shoulders, especially the moms for not approaching their children, scarring them away with punishments and judgments! Can you believe it? A mother judging her own child for developing natural curiosity that she once developed! It happens, happened and will continue happening as long as parenting is limited to financial terms.
Not only that, but it spreads to the gender of the child, if he's a boy then the world dances with joy to the baby boy who's growing up to be a man! Yet, if she's a girl, fear and silence stretch to the earth's poles over the girl who'll grow to be… a not so good girl!