Love crimes

It started out like a fairytale
You looked at me and I looked at you
I noticed you and you noticed me
You liked what you saw
And I admired the decisiveness in your voice
You were one of a kind; a unique soul
The heat was too much to take
Oh the games we played
Yes, the games you played
One day you’re in; one day you’re out
In mornings you loved me;
By afternoons you were bored
You had me hooked
You knew that
I was destined to live by your book
Nowhere is where I went
I was here, standing, waiting for you to make up your mind
Will you give me your heart?
A year had passed before the games had stopped
You shattered me and yet I was not to give up
You said it; the three words I asked from you
Yet the manipulations did not stop…
A happy home is what I thought we would share
In your eyes I have longed to stare
But the cruel gazes you sent my way
Showed me how love has gone astray
I swore I was innocent from the sins you threw at me
For my heart never loved a man but you
My hands never touched a hand but yours
My thoughts never reached the doorstep of your home
My bad… Your prison…
You locked me in
And I surrendered willingly
People told me it’s out of love you silly
Give him your heart, your soul and body
In his bliss you’ll live long honey
But I tried and it wasn’t enough
As one day you decided to play it rough
Your hands bruised me inside out
Your curses filled me up
Have no doubt
My respect has been replaced with fear
I no longer love you
I hate you the most
And yet you left no way for me to run
You owned every breath I take
You owned every move I make
You owned my cries, my pleas; my awe
You owned it all but you lost me honey
You think I’m beautiful
Then why tare my beauty down
You think I’m attractive
Then why blow my candle out
You made me feel that every man wants me but you
You sinned my body; called me the devil
And you had to live with that too?
You said I was your biggest mistake
What does that make of me?
You said I was your weakest point?
What does that make of me?
You said I was dead to you
And what did I do?
I shot you…
I set you free
From all the crimes you had to commit to me
The manipulations…
The doubts…
The jealousy…
The controlling…
You’ve sinned the most
When you lied to me about whom you are
I loved you and you didn’t comply
And I shall regret nothing
For it’s just another crime made under the name of love…

The perfectionism faux pas

(Published in Magnificent Magazine - Addiction issue 2010)

In our quality studded double standard world, a perfectionist is a star, a unique successful person, someone who’s worthy of everyone’s attention and the perfect candidate for idolism. When you come to think of it, you’ll see how you, I and practically every breathing person roaming this earth were pushed to be perfect, starting with our parents who falsely wished to have perfectly mannered children, who achieve the perfect grades and devise the most perfect career there ever was. To commercials which succeeded to wickedly invade our soft core and stimulate the already frenzied shopping addiction using only one word perfection.
So we buy expensive cars to be perfect; we splurge on insane couture to be perfect; we take, inhale, cut and sniff God knows what to have the perfect figure; we twist, turn and bend inside out to land the perfect partner, therefore life, therefore children and we beat ourselves harshly everyday for not following the much complicated guidelines to achieve perfection. Regarding all the aforementioned truths, does perfection count as something good as we’re made to believe or is it merely a faux pas?!

Well… Sometimes, when a healthy desire for perfection exists, it turns out to be a blessing, an unstoppable engine driving people to accomplishments and sparking the necessary twist to ignite motivation. It provides the power to persevere and give much attention to minute details. Perfection also ties people down, obligates them to commit to their project, to persist, to see it through to the end and to reject failure even when it comes in the form of alluring procrastination.
But, and that’s a very unfortunate but, perfectionism spreads through most of us in its ugliest form, where it becomes an obsession, a firing craze to always be a winner, which usually ends with flat out disappointment. That’s why you see most perfectionists are either depressed or weary workaholics, it’s because they, or to be much honest, we have an eerie belief system. A perfectionist easily believes that there’s no room for error thus would relentlessly torture himself over the pettiest mistake as what he achieves means much more than any other blessing he might ever get. It’s the success; it’s the people clapping their hands until they’re sore in respect for their astonishing work; this is what that they are after, anything less can immediately walk a perfectionist through depression, disappointment and self-loathing.

What comes next is the normal expected consequences of perfectionism, where one would be very inflexible and unable to deal and cope with change. To the extent that if you want to flip a perfectionist over, just mess with his/her daily routine and you’ll know what obsession really means. And because of the failing attempts at perfection; a perfectionist is usually associated with a compulsive behavior may it be alcohol, food, drugs, shopping, sex and smoking. That of course happens with an obvious lack of belief in self and own worth and so low productivity happens.
So now, it won’t come as a shocker to you when you hear of a failure perfectionist. In fact, the majority of perfectionists happen to be marked with low productivity as they care too much about how to get things done that to actually get it done.

If you are the natural healthy perfectionist type then you are not part this schemed faux pas, but if you fell for the spell, pushed yourself too hard to please the crowd and gain acceptance through the perfectionist reputation, then I’ve got a couple of things to share with you…
1. There is no such thing as “the right way” to do things; everyone has his own approach that works for them.
2. You can’t blame others for your depression or low accomplishments just as much as no one will ever take credit for your successes.
3. There is no harm in failed attempts; it’s where you give up on things that you’ve failed.
4. Perfectionism comes from you, you’re the one who decides if things are done perfectly or not so don’t be hard on yourself.
5. We are humans after all, we’re allowed screw ups
6. Everyone has a field of expertise you can’t ace it all.
7. Some things just don’t get finished like house chores and work.
8. Like you torture yourself over failures, praise your success.
9. Keep the adventure spirit alive, dabble different approaches instead of knocking on a concealed door that will never open.
10. Perfectionism is subjective!

Mr. Tortuous... You're nothing but a lover!

(Published in He Said She Said Magazine - July/August issue 2010)

In mere language notion, “tortuous” means twisted and complex, but in relationship terms tortuousness stands for those who are indirect, ambiguous and unable to keep their promises.

Disclaimer: This article is not dedicated to tortuous women not because they don’t exist or out of the fact that women are better than men or that I’m justifying their reasons, but due to their scarcity. As when a woman is being indirect or vague about her intentions with a man, it usually means she’s either not that into him or picked up on the vibe that he’s aiming a long-term relationship which is not what she’s looking for at the moment.
This article is not dedicated to womanizers who use tortuousness to mess with women’s minds, hearts and hopes. However, this article IS dedicated to tortuous men who have adopted this technique unintentionally and wonder why they never pass the “firsts” phase.
Ever since I understood how men-women relationships work, I became a firm believer that women everywhere love playing the mentor role for their men. They love the challenge, the possibility of changing a dense man into a loving committed partner and curing his illness. As winning that hard to get man over is a simple yet powerful testimony of the strength of their femininity and power to embark change. But when a woman tries and chase, tries again and chases a little bit more and change is nowhere to be seen, she starts to lose faith in her man. She starts to doubt his seriousness and intentions, after all women were not made to chase men; they were made to be pursued by men. And the emotional roller coaster tortuous men, like you, put her through become too tiring as she prefers to be with someone whom she can understand and interpret. Thus, she loses interest and leaves.

So, you see Mr. Tortuous, this is how women work…
When you come off as a player, you might seem appealing to a certain very limited segment of women at first. But for those who’re looking for commitment, once they’ve got you all figured out, you’ll be dumped at the nearest exit.
When a woman is confused about the nature of your relationship, because one day you’re together and the next you’re acting like you don’t even know her, eventually she’ll give up and quit. For that way, Mr. Tortuous, she sees you’re only good for busy women who want part-time men.
When your words are vague and your promises never leave the words zone, women see you as an incompatible man. Because for women, real men are direct with their needs and wants, confident decision makers who have no problem making a promise and sticking to it. And since you’re not fitting under that category, you’re not the perfect candidate for a potential partner.
And when a woman feels she’s taken for granted, that you’re keeping her there until someone better comes along, she’ll lose her trust in you on her way to losing her self-esteem.

Accordingly, it’s very much possible for you to stand by watching the woman you love walk away because you didn’t know what exactly went wrong. You thought women love mystery, you thought they appreciated hard to get men, you thought they enjoyed being tortured for love. Well… You’re wrong. Women translate shadiness, indirectness and lost promises as:
a. Lack of interest. Hence, you’re ditching the woman but in an indirect way.
b. Commitment jitters, where you can’t handle being in steady relationship.
c. Being rushed into a promise that you can’t get out of, so you’re pushing her to breaking up with you.
d. Indifference, where you take nothing serious, nothing is important to you not even your relationship with her.
e. Hiding a secret or a hideous past you want concealed.
f. Being a loner who cherishes privacy and keeping personal distance

Therefore this article is dedicated to you Mr. Tortuous, to tell you why you can’t hold on to a relationship. To open your eyes to a blind spot you could not spot on your own. If a steady relationship is what you’re seeking, then you better speak up. If you find a woman worthy of your love and time, stay direct with your intentions. Keep her on the same page as you are, define your relationship. If you make a promise, try your best to make it happen or at least say you no longer can keep it.
Mr. Tortuous, I want you to think of the many good women you’ve lost because of your shadiness. I want you to remember every situation where you passed on the chance for settling down because you thought women were experts with picking up on signals. Women will not put words in your mouth; they’ll wait around for you to make your move.
If you failed to do so, then automatically you’re removed from the partner section to nothing but a tortuous lover…

When sex-addiction becomes a Woman's thing!

(Published in Magnificent Magazine - Addiction issue)

In a world where ownership and ruling has been forevermore men exclusive, sex was no exception. In fact, sex has been portrayed as all that men ever think about; sex is how you attract a man; sex is how you keep a man; sex is how you’re rated by man and thus the world. So, it was only natural for men consumed by such tremendous amount of sex, to get hooked. Women, on the other hand, are famous for their romance capability, their lust for intimacy and friendship, and their outstanding nurturing performance. Such delicate and loving creatures take the world by storm when they act out of order. When she turns from a dandy lover to a wild party animal, from a nurturing mother to someone who puts her career first, from a shy desire-free flower to a monster who’s ready to take everything at sight and from a caged bird to a woman who’s not afraid to speak her sexuality…
Like men, women get addicted to sex, but not under the same notion. Most sex-addicts from the pink planet don’t have pleasure on their plates; they have other reasons, other factors and other people contributing to their addiction…

1. When the father figure goes missing
Ask a girl who has lost her father at a young age about security and she’ll give you a blank face. Ask her about protection and she’ll reply with extremes. Ask her about men and she’ll tell you they are never to be trusted. A woman who has experienced what professionals call “trauma during childhood” is expected to act out. This woman is after company, not sex. She wants to have a man by her side when life becomes too scary; she wants to feel the presence of a male with a little bit of revenge mixed with need, so she puts out. And what starts as nothing but a trick to attract men, turns into a habit, a manual to attract men that never fails and so she becomes a sex addict.
2. When physical leads to numbness
As it’s the case with any addiction, pain makes the headlines. There are no restrictions when it comes to the cause of pain, anything will do. In fact, sometimes all it takes is a minor strain to turn one’s life upside down. Failure happens to be a major pain trigger. Failing to achieve, to find love, to be loved, to succeed, to enjoy and to feel good about oneself are all enough causes for a woman to resort to sex to feel the satisfaction she’s missing in the real world. Her success to please a man and make him beg for more gives her the thrill she needs to keep on living. She may not get an orgasm, she might not even know how an orgasm feels, but it’s the virtual moment she enjoys that makes her forget all about her pain, failure and distorted body frame.
3. When the need to feel desirable strikes
Make a woman feel beautiful and you’ll keep her for life. But what if she lost that feeling? What if she never knew how beautiful feels? What if she’s spent her life being casted aside and made fun of? When any person is subjected to rejection becomes either an introvert or an extrovert. Women who show sex-addiction, uses sex to prove people wrong, they want to show the world how much men desire them, how sexy and attractive men find them and accordingly, one-night stands become their thing, only for the sake of revenge, nothing more and nothing less.
4. When abused stands for used
The stereotyped image for sexually abused women is lost and so they become. I’m not generalizing here; I know there are the fighters who work hard to fit life back into customary context, but I also know those who fell down hard and sunk deep into despair. Those helpless women found acceptance in sex, the very same acceptance they wanted to find among society yet failed. They find sex as their savior and their pill to spend life without looking back at the shameful day that turned them into decent prostitutes.
5. When swallowed by loneliness
I know how loneliness treats a person, she calls him a nothing, a neglected object, an extra word that’s constantly deleted and she yells at him, put him down and makes him feel like a good for nothing. What cures loneliness is the company of another soul, it doesn’t matter if it’s pure or evil, it doesn’t matter if it’s sincere or betraying; all that matters is that it’s there. Married women experience loneliness, working women experience loneliness, mothers experience loneliness and sex becomes their toy, their source of entertainment and the most fun thing they look forward to do.
6. When self-worth = ??
How many women you know define themselves according to men, to their relationships with men? Women who don’t know who they are outside the commitment bubble, women who don’t know their capabilities and their strengths; women who feel worthless unless they’re dangling from a man’s arm. I know hundreds and I’m sure there are millions of women who can’t define their identities without the help of a man with magical arms to shape them and what better way to get that man than by some magical sex.

Call them desperate, needy or weak. Call them shadows who have been misguided. They are women who live among as, and like all earth-ian women they want love and acceptance. And along their tiring journey in search, they come across sex. They become addicted to sex, those who were once addicted to love and the rush love brings, move on to the next level and trust that sex will never fail to give them what they need, a man by their side and an effective anesthetic until life becomes all pink again.

Even God won't change the past

(Published in Euphoria Magazine - May 2010 issue)

Why would a rapped girl live as a sinner for the rest of her life when she didn’t do wrong? Why would an ex- drug-addict be treated like a fatal infection when he’s already cured? Why would a woman be punished for her right to love and choose a suitable partner when she has a mind of her own? Because people’s views will forever stay the same; once they label someone for a sinner will always be a sinner? No such thing as second chances, no such thing as a strong will to carry on. When they say you’ve wronged, you’re dead, even if God still wants you alive…

Exhibit A:

With a bitter fuming voice, my once madly in love friend started trashing all living women, calling them liars, deceivers and something about being tossed cans! It’s been exactly two months since I last saw him, I remember him being all worked up about this girl he met during a leadership course and how thankful he’s to God to have guided him to that specific place to meet the perfect girl for him. What happened? Did she cheat? Faked her identity? Had an illegitimate child? What could’ve possibly happened to turn someone on the verge of proposing to absolute hatred and anger?

Him: “I’m not her first!”

Me: “Do you mean she’s not a virgin?”

Him: “NO, no, I mean she’s been in love before”

Me: “She’s been in love before! That’s it… that’s what supposed to make her an unsuitable wife and mother for your kids. She’s a twenty something “woman”. Did you truly expect to meet a “woman” who’s been caged all those years, waiting for you?!”

Him: “She wasn’t engaged, she was very specific; I’ve been in a relationship before”

Me: “So, if she was engaged, would that make her honorable, respectful and worthy of your precious ring? You’ve been in relationships before, you’ve been in love before, but it didn’t work out. And it’s not like she’s sinned, it’s her right to love and choose who she wants to be with. Or would you prefer her to stick around in a doomed relationship just because people like you would not want to marry her afterwards? Or better yet, lie about having previous relationships so that people like you would place her under the good Egyptian girl category and would want to marry her? She’s not a woman with a past; she’s an honest woman, with nothing to be ashamed of, and a free will to choose.”

Exhibit B:

It was my first time to attend an ambiguous writers’ meeting, where no one, not even the staff had a clue about what the coming issue is about. So, for the sake of jumpstarting ideas, they asked each of us to share a life changing experience and the impact it had on our personalities, beliefs, views and everything. Thus, after a long pause free from eye contacts and some “come on-s” from the editors, a dark attractive guy saved us all and took the stage…

“Hello everyone, I’m someone someone. A year ago, I was a drug addict, heroin to be specific. Regardless of how I got there and how my parents found out, what matters is that I was placed in a hideous rehab center which I escaped a couple of times. Each time, my family would force me to go back and each time I manage to either escape or smuggle in drugs to keep me there for a few days. Until, I witnessed a friend die from overdose. He was a rich kid, with everything to live and get well for, instead he chose to escape through drugs. His death shook me to my very core because I knew him; I talked to him and shared drugs with him. Only, then I realized that death is near, especially to me, so close that I can smell the stench of its breath. And I quit drugs for good. It wasn’t the rehab that helped me, I helped myself start over and build a new life. I was so proud of myself that I saw no shame in being a recovering drug addict. I find it influential. But people don’t, they don’t want to hire me, they don’t to marry me their daughters, they don’t want their children around me because apparently I’m a bad influence. I was acceptable when people knew nothing about my addiction but now that I outspoken, they want nothing to do with me...”

Exhibit C:

Walking by a well-known children’s park in Nasr City, she was startled by a loud winded breath-like sound. Turning around in search of the source, she saw a man “getting off” at the dark corner of the fence. As she increased her pace thinking what a pervert this man must be, she felt his strong grip over her left arm and suffocating hand clasping her mouth. Her heart pounded as he dragged her to his leisure spot. She prayed hard for it all must be a nightmare. But the stronger she fought, the firmer he sealed her mouth. His rotten smell, thick hairy skin, curious hands creeping up her body were too much for her to bear… She blanked out.

Awakened by the deafening horns of a truck, she had only one thought in mind, how will she get in her home looking like this without sparking questions? She searched her purse for cash and headed to the nearest clothes store, asked the sales girl to help her for she had an accident and can’t walk the streets looking like this. Tossing her filthy old clothes away, she had to decide. Should she keep this to herself, fake her virginity and not tell a soul? Or should she speak up and share the heavy burden with her family? After weeks of torment, she decided to tell, after all she didn’t do anything wrong. Today she’s imprisoned in her own room, detained from life, love, work, friends and ironically family…

When judgments prevail it becomes almost impossible for the eyes to see different angles and for the minds to embrace an alternative truth. When we make mistakes we hope they go unnoticed, so we can easily pass for people living within the norms of acceptance. When we question fate and destiny, trying really hard to extract the rare good from the bad, we find our stronger side. When we decide to face people with our truth, it’s always rejection in the face. If God intended for us, and those who’ve had/ are still having a challenged life, to walk a certain path, for some reason we can’t fully understand within the moment of crisis, then we’ll walk it no matter how smart, careful and faithful we are. The truth is our past is exactly like our future; can’t be changed nor controlled. It’s either we accept those around us the way they are or let them be. Because if even God won’t change the past, who are we to challenge, judge and punish?!

Call me happy- go- lucky

See… I changed my font; I’m not using Times New Roman anymore; I don’t even want to use it… … I’m lying; I’m dying to change my Trebuchet back to Times New Roman; I’m struggling not to think about it; I’m keeping my fingers busy from changing the font just as I’m restraining myself from calling you…
I swear I’m not trying to annoy you; I just want to show you I care… I want to love you right and give you the attention you need. I want our dates to be perfect and my gifts to be thoughtful…
I didn’t mean to bore you down with all my questions; I want to know you perfectly. I want to learn you inside out; I want to know what makes you happy and what makes you tick. I want to learn your maze and be able to go in and out smoothly. I want to spare you the tiresome of hinting. I want to do everything you want me to do without even asking.

Before you came along I had no real friends. Before you came along I felt like I’ve been used and taken for granted, everyone knows I’ll plan the perfect event, buy just the perfect gift and prepare the perfect guest list. When they ask me to do such a thing, they think that it’s more like a compliment to me, that I’ll think of it as an expression for their unconditional trust in my decisions or maybe I’ll get fooled when they call me the superstar. It’s more of an insult actually because my so-called friends know that I’ll perfect any task they hand me, they know I can’t help but to do that, so they leave me all alone, to work, to plan and to buy while they go on with their fun-filled lives, leaving all the heavy lifting to me. But I can’t help it…

At work, no one questions my decisions, no one double check my work. I’m supposed to feel flattered and motivated. But I feel neglected…
When I’m at home, I spend my time cleaning and organizing. I go by my day tidying and managing. I live my life wondering what will go wrong if I stopped perfecting every damn single think but I can’t help it…

I hear people laughing at me; I know what they think of me. It’s complicated how they admire my attitude yet abhor it. But I’m no longer impressed nor grateful… I’m bored…
I’m tired of living in a suit I’m constantly worried to wrinkle. I’m tired of being used. I’m tired of losing man I’ve ever loved because I care so much, but I can’t help it…

I can’t help it because I fear failure and hate disappointment…
I can’t help it because I don’t like being judged…
I can’t help it because I don’t want to be rejected, if that’s what people like in me so be it, I’m a perfectionist…
I can’t help it because I loathe mistakes and the silly people who make them…
I can’t help it because I fear the unknown…
I can’t help it because I want to play the idol role…
I can’t help it because I crave acceptance…
I can’t help it because I seek praise…
I can’t help it because I aim security and certainty…
I can’t help it because I love success and uniqueness…

There… I’m exposed… Yet, I don’t want perfectionist to be my thing, especially after you told me you’ll leave. Usually, in a much similar circumstance, I’d switch on my stubborn mode and be the most perfect perfectionist I’ll ever be… But I’m not after changing only for you. Like you, I’m not happy, I’m never satisfied and I’m constantly tired to please this and that and maintain an image I’m wishing to destroy…

I saw your face flushed with anger and pity. I saw you raise your hand in question why do I act that way. I feel you like the outgoing person you rarely saw in me. I feel you want to destroy my conservativity and the schedule book I never fail to leave. I feel you want me to laugh at silly jokes, take a break every once in a while and enjoy life, and so am I…

I’m 22 years old, yet I’m living the life of an 80 years old. I want to live spontaneously and act my age. I want to throw my worries behind and live if just for a while outside the perfectionism curse… I truly want that and I’ll act on it…

See… I told you I can be informal, I told you I can speak my mind without editing my thoughts, I told you I have that alter gene… I told you I can be happy-go-lucky.

Hooked on Firsts!

(Published in Magnificent Magazine - Mirror issue 2010)

Back in the days when lollipops meant more to me than jewelry, I believed that men who couldn’t find it in them to commit were either constantly falling for the crazy ones or flat out womanizers. I believed that the success of any relationship fell on the woman’s shoulders only. I believed that whenever a woman is dumped or divorced it’s the result of her own stupidity and flawed nature. I believed that women must marry before the age of 25 and men wed whenever they felt like it. I believed that cheating is only allowed for men. I believed that only men can marry more than once. But I also believed that eating white marshmallows on New Year’s Eve brings luck and happiness!

Time passed by crushing all my naïve theories- including that of white marshmallows- under its big feet and I saw relationships as a world on its own with its young, youths and elders. I saw hearts being crushed for no fault of their owners. I saw couples separate because they don’t want to be together anymore. I saw one-sided love. I saw women cheat, marry by the age of 35, get a divorce and re-marry. I saw men confused, defeated and weak. I saw people get married behind their parents’ backs, despite their approvals and defy traditions. I saw men who cannot commit to one woman and they’re neither womanizers nor suffering bad luck. I saw men, who despite the fact that they’re seeking a stable relationship, give up quickly and move on in search of another and I had to pause…

I thought good for women, for their growing ability to say no, to change their present, to make mistakes, choose and aim for a more convenient future; but the men?! The men who, all over the world, are stereotyped as cheaters, pigs that are only looking to satisfy their desires and partners who wouldn’t wait around for intimacy to happen.
Why would a man, aiming commitment and has no jitters whatsoever, lose the ability to commit? Why would he, if not a player, rush from one relationship to another? What makes a man leave behind a woman he really likes if he senses potential for success?

Because he’s hooked on firsts!

The story usually goes like this; a nice man meets a nice lady, sparks fly all over the place, hormones start pumping through their veins. The man meets his testosterone craze while the woman faces her estrogen, creating the ultimate physical pull. Then attraction on every other level happens because of a game our brains master through love chemicals. Dopamine, “the pleasure chemical”, is released causing the euphoric rush and endless craving towards the significant other. Followed by Norepinephrine, which has the adrenaline-like effect, creating the racy heart beats and excitement lovers get when hearing their partners’ names. Together, Dopamine and Norepinephrine, produce what relationships-terms refer to as firsts, starting with sleeplessness all the way to loss of appetite. Add obsession, because of the decreased Serotonin levels, and the lover becomes the one and only thing in mind.

So love happens because of a chemical cocktail the brain releases when the timing and conditions couldn’t be more perfect. Accordingly, there are those who may get hooked on the love chemicals. They’re referred to as love junkies, love addicts, high on love or even firsts addicts. They crave that rush, elation and obsession love chemicals produce at the early beginnings of relationships and as their bodies build up tolerance to those chemicals, they start to crave more and more of the mysterious love potion. That’s why they usually go from one relationship to the next in search of a love fix. And giving the fact that men are more visual than women, they happen to get hooked on firsts faster and more frequently than women. That doesn’t mean that it never happens for women, it does, but since almost all women cherish the effort and time they invest in relationships and the fact that most women are very emotional, it’s highly unlikely for them to call it quits out of steadiness.

That being said, the hooked- on- firsts- people end a relationship because, for them, it’s not exciting anymore, it no longer delivers that rush they desire and it’s going in the direction of utter boredom. Therefore, you can find a man who couldn’t be more thrilled about his new partner and rush-filled relationship, but then when the firsts are over and the commitment phase starts to blossom, he loses interest along with his fix, thus thinking this relationship and this partner is not for him and moves on to the next. And you can find a man who after a long pursuit to be with an extraordinary woman, the moment he gains her approval is the one when the captivating lights shut off and he finds himself stuck with nothing but an ordinary woman in a boring relationship that needs to end.

A lot of people debate over the notion of whether love is addictive or not. Science settled the case with the fact that for some people, mostly men, love do get to their heads and become their grand quest. And since the case of love junkies isn’t yet out in the open, once you sense that you or your partner are hooked on firsts, you need to know that having a long-term relationship won’t be a walk in the park. For you have to keep the flame alive, that adrenaline rush present, the hormones elevated and the chase endless. Even if you need to separate for a while, travel some place new or pick up a new hobby. As long as you’re honest about it, love will always be that thrill you desire.