Lost in unedited thoughts

It happened before, this feeling, this fear, this fogginess and endless darkness.

The weather was exactly like today, indecisive.

Ten months ago I was at the same place I am today

Worried and confused.

I thought I will take a stance but I got scared away.

The effect was undeniable

A far fetched victory

That was all

I got to a point that shook my belief system to the core

I was active in a good way

I got a cause to live for

I adored my son even more

I had a mission now to raise him like a true Egyptian

A justice fanatic!

Here we are again,

At the same place

Today, I love my country…

Egypt; a country so vague that makes you wonder whether you love it or hate it! 

Today I feel for my people

All the screams and blood.

All the lives that were shed.

They’re trying to say something but it’s too loud I can’t seem to hear them.

I got lost in the midst of all the voices trying to block out each other.

The once hated are now hailed.

The once loved are now hated.

Political parties are clashing.

Rumors of conspiracies are flying.

My country is turning into a victim.

I fear for Egypt…

Where are we going?

What are we doing?

The revolution is now cursed?

When will the dust settle?

It can take years…

I fear for my son

I fear for the future

It's all blurry again

It's all grey again

I hope Egyptians can no longer be manipulated

I wish for roads to be simpler and cleared

I wish for everyone to be honest

We are still virgins when it comes to politics

The grounds are all already shaking

I thought I understood

I thought I have changed

I thought we have gotten more aware

I thought all Egyptians are now patriots

I was wrong

There are Agenda's

There are conspiracies

There are manipulations

And the people are yet again paying the price...

Is this our country or will forever be theirs?

Egypt is cut open

And we are exposed

It's time to render

It's time to decide

Can we be a better country?

I am lost…