Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Men you don't want to be! (Euphoria Magazine April '09)

The first rule every woman receives when about to enter the relationships' world is avoid the cheater, the liar and the cheap. The reason why those three traits stood solid through the test of time is not because of their frequency but because of their distinguishable luminosity visible only to women. Yes! Women can detect the liar, sense the cheater and feel the cheap. However, there are other markers or to be more specific snags surrounding men's personalities which immediately place them on the "men to be avoided" list. So, in order to escape being on that list you don't want to be:

1. The critic
I hate that! Every woman breathing or dead hates that too! Females are sensitive, that's just a curse men have to deal with and so cornering her every move, thought or even taste is suffocating and parentally! Generally speaking, criticizing is unidirectional, it goes from a superior person to someone he believes to be less superior. Thus if your criticism is moving past the it's for your own good phase then she'll react in either of three ways;
a. despise your voice since all you have to say are brutal judgments,
b. bottle up the bitterness inside until she' overly saturated or
c. respond in various aggressive ways that might seem irrelevant to your excessive criticism.
But regardless of the conducts, you'll end up with you getting dumped!

2. The Analyzer
Women of all ages crave men who can listen, understand, empathize and appreciate. But being a listener is one thing and being an analyzer is a completely different thing! Being understood inside out is sweet but being transparent is simply anti-human. Having a partner with whom a woman can unwind and speak her mind unguarded is one of the strongest reasons why she's in a relationship and probably the same reason why she's willing to leave Freud for a deaf man!

3. The rebounder
Saving a drowning man is pretty heroic and an excellent ego booster for women as well. She'll feel more feminine knowing that she has healed your broken heart and made you forgot all about the other woman.
Then why is this repulsing? The problem happens in the security context for it won't be long before she questions your relationship, is it a real thing or just a matter of time before you go hunting! It all depends on your punch line, if it's I just got out of a messy breakup then she'll gladly do the necessary amendments, restore your faith in women, have her moment of glory and leave. She knows it's a rebound relationship from the start, she's not stupid, she knows you're a rebounder and so you're meant to be cut off!

4. The wandering-eye man
Why is it a manly thing?! Whenever I asked a man, why do you check other women out? He casually replies "Because I'm a man!" I, on the other hand, trying my best to silence the demons yelling kill him, decided to search for the logic in his sentence. I even doubted my own information! To the extent that I spent hours researching for a fact to prove that men automatically cheat! Of course there was none, even the infamous monogamy gene is to be found in both men and women. Then it's a mixed matter of respect, self-control and commitment. Women didn't get the impression that men only think with their "sticks" from no where, on the contrary, it took an endless series of stories and stolen glances to build that reputation up. That women escape the company of such men, not only because of their disgusting habit, but because being around a wandering-eye man destroys what's left of a woman's self-confidence and accordingly he has to go!

5. The virtuous guy
It's hard living under the microscope where everything is magnified and divided according to borderlines. Usually preaching is done by parents, those loathed instructions of what's right and what's perceived as wrong without convincing reasons is probably the reason why we're not that attached to them anymore. What any normal person would do when facing such condensed pressure is run towards those who he/she deeply love and know that they won't judge! But when the partner is all about setting rules, defining what is acceptable and what is not, blaming and condemning, directing and moralizing, the entire thing just seem worthless. It's true that a woman loves to feel the wings of a man surrounding her existence, protecting her from whichever dangers she's about to get herself into, yet in a non-parenting, repulsive way. Why is everything wrong? Why the stiffness of the mind? And why the hell are you guiding her? Communicate, debate, convince and every woman will listen. Scare, threat, yell, force and you'll be researching for alternative ways to reproduce!

6. The insecure
Finding a romantic man is like discovering treasure, finding a clingy romantic man is like finding a rotten skull midst the jewels! That's really how bad it is.
As almost every woman dreams of the gentleman who meets her with a flower in his hand and romantic words on his lips, it's the once in a while surprise that defines him as a man who is romantic, not the other way around. But those who speak, walk, talk and sometimes even stalk are clingy beings; women won't see them as men. Unlike what most men believe, women cherish their spaces and they do sense pretentious gestures. If you don't really miss her, she'll know, if you don't really trust her, she'll know and if you don't trust yourself, she'll know it too. At first, your insecurities will seem nice to her, it's nice to have a powerful man feel scared of loosing a woman, it feels good but soon enough, time after time, suffocation after another, she'll translate those signs to insecurities and BAM! You're out of the picture!

7. The changer
As a rule of thumb, no one is capable of changing others. As a matter of fact, I can better relate to helping people see their capabilities and good sides rather than changing them! I can also relate to people trying to adjust to their partners' needs and personalities but not change for them. Since in the end truths prevail, people go back to their normal selves and realize they've been trapped in their own bodies. It's either you love her the way she is or not, for if you keep on putting words in her mouth, brainwashing her with your thoughts, she won't be an individual, but another Stepford wife. Even the Stepford wives took a stance and rebelled, putting their men down!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Closure Chaos

Since there’s no such thing as a break-up manual, people usually go for the least stressful techniques. But homa doul eli gom yeka7aloha 3amoha bgd, because though that technique or strategy might seem harmless at first but the outcome is disastrous like you wouldn’t believe…

Never saw it coming!
Finally found someone who’s a real gentleman, one who provided her with the space she needs and still managed to be by her side. She loved him deeply that when he left for a- two weeks-job she decided to pay him back, so she went for a complete make-over and was dying to see the look on his face when he sees her… On the day of his arrival, he didn’t call, didn’t answer nor replied her messages. She considered all the possible excuses other than eno nafadlaha. She lingered for days even after she knew he’s fine and back to his normal life. She awaited that call but instead she received one from her friend consoling her for the break-up she never knew happened in the first place… It’s the way you end a relationship that determines how you’ll be remembered, she’ll always remember that guy who didn’t have the guts to tell her it’s over and you know how girls and gossips match thus I hope he meets someone else from a different continent because he’s pretty much done here!
Run for your liiiiiiiiiiiiifeeeeeeee!
Girls are not that comfortable with break-ups either, but we do have one privilege though, guys are less emotional so we wouldn’t have to deal with tears, may be screams! Thus the only way to avoid all the explanation is to trick him into breaking up with her, that way she’s the victim and he’s the cold-hearted monster L To do that, every single thing that’s a deal-breaker is in trial, starting with socializing with other guys to provocative clothes. If he turned out to be a cold blooded amphibian, there’s always spending more time with the girlfriends, shutting him out and of course the tough trio, whining, nagging and totally dependant, tears or no tears he can’t take it any longer, now the “we need to talk” part is in order and voila free as a bird with wala men shaf wala men dri!

El sara7a mesh ra7a!!When out of options, people tend to turn to honesty, thinking it’s the only salvation …WRONG!! If by honesty you’re aiming for a quite, noble break-up then you’re destined to a bitter fight. Here’s why, people who are deeply in love tend to get more disappointed, they feel betrayed and shocked when their partners announce they want out. I mean one bad news is enough for the day; you don’t have to over do it with el dameer elly s7y fag2a to thread all the flows and annoying facts that will make the one who loves you the most feels like the worst person alive! I say go for the simple “it’s not working for me” That should do the trick!!
Can’t let go! Perseverance is a great quality, but when it comes to a relationship where the other literally loathes you and you keep calling for 3 years da fara3’!
Loosing control over your emotions is sort of a given in closures but what happened to that guy is pure bad luck; he fell for this girl who’s very weird, into magic and spells. After sometime- lama faa2 ya3ny- he saw the incompatibility and it’s clear what he had to do. Shortly after he started having the worst nightmares ever that pushed him to insomnia, now he’s loosing his mind wondering if what’s happening to him is because of the spells or the mind games she’s always playing with him as she’s literally everywhere he goes. It’s never easy pushing people away but to stop them from messing with your head… Good luck with that!

Enty tstahly 27san meny!!This is hilarious bgd… A guy is breaking-up with his girlfriend, not because of her intolerable qualities but because he fears for her well-being!
He said that he’s willing to sacrifice his happiness for her, that he cares too much about her and fears that his over flowing love is going to hurt her!!
Allow me this question, if ever a girl meets a guy who puts her needs ahead of his will she ever let him go?? NO!! That guy’s everything she’s been looking for! Of course she’ll be sticking to him like glue, supporting him through whatever his imaginary problems were cause that’s the least he deserves. Instead of a break up he got trapped because he’s acted like a rare male breed when his not, 2olna el kdb 5eba!