The 33 Relationship truths no one will ever tell you

It’s always hard to avoid the inevitable, let alone give in to the faulty snobbishness of knowing the right thing to do. As there is the straw that broke the camel’s back, there’s also the one who added that extra fatal burden. It’s true that no one was born a relationship wizard for those who are now, certainly had their share of heartaches. The problem is that it’s not easy to find people who are willing to admit their failures; they can blame them on bad luck or their partners at best! But there are only a few who are guaranteed to share with you, not only the faults, but the blunders that led to those pit falls. Who are those one of a kind honest people? Actually, for now it’s only me, but since it’s my Relationship Rewired finale, I wanted to give you something special.
So, hear out the major relationship truths, you need to snap right out of…

A. Opposite attracts!1. This is just another lie you or your friends might promote to not see your grumpy face.
2. Opposite may attract in physics but in relationships, similarities make life more enjoyable.
3. It’s absolutely crucial for your partner to share your interests and more importantly your beliefs, as things won’t always come down to you two. There will be kids along the way!
4. Being different from other people she/he might have known is appealing, but being different from her/him is not!
5. Life is always made easy with an understanding partner who can relate to your problems, if she/he is on the other end, how can they empathize?
6. I won’t lie to you, it might be fun, experiencing new places, meeting different people, getting introduce to different side of you, you might not have known. This is all good, in a crush/dating way but when it comes to settling down, you need someone to survive with, pull you up not in all directions!

B. You have to be in love 24/7!7. Come on! You know better than this, imagine having to eat honey every day, eventually, it’ll lose both its sweet taste and alluring charm.
8. This has nothing to do with reality for it takes no genius to realize that the more you contact each other, the more you clash!
9. Where’s the fun in that? The bad is intended to be there, not to make our lives worse, but to help us appreciate and long for the good sides as well.
10. It’s at the most difficult situations and the hideous fights when you get to discover the real, unraveled version of your partner. Only then you can decide whether the relationship is worth putting up with the ugly face or not!
11. That’s movie love and it’s named that for a reason. Everyone fights for the good time, that’s what makes a relationship worthy of your sacrifice.

C. You can always change what you hate about your partners!12. A flat out Lie! You can never change someone simply because you can’t even change yourself.
13. People can pretend to change for the person they love, but their true selves will soon out speak their love.
14. Part of being IN LOVE with someone is to love them the way they are, accept them as a package that can’t be altered.
15. When you’ve been with someone for long and you know that she/he has actually changed. It’s not that they changed because of you; it’s that you HELPED bring out the best that was already in them.
16. It’s a dream that we all have about our ONES, but unfortunately it’s what you hate to love about them that makes life magical.
17. If you’re lucky enough to witness your grandparents’ relationship, you’ll see how those once hated traits are now unseen. Not out of love, not out of surrender but because those very same hateful bits are now accustomed and worse, replaced by new ones!

D. Always speak what’s on your mind18. Almost everyone believes that using what God placed in your head is damaging to your relationship. WRONG!
19. Consider something minor as simple as wanting comfort from your one when you’re feeling down. That’s normal, it’s your right and frequent in our hectic lives. And since you refuse to your mind, you’ll stumble across her/him and literally spill out your guts regardless of their mood!
20. There’s a huge difference between honesty and cleverness.
21. Being the comfort zone for your beloved is not easy and of course it doesn’t come naturally. It takes practice to learn when it’s your time to talk and when you should shut up!
22. Speaking what’s on your mind is your granted right that no one can deny you, but it’s when and how you should exercise that right that will get you the best feedback you’ll ever need.
23. One of life’s most hurtful truths, you can’t control anyone even controlling yourself is most of the times hard to muster.

E. You’ll realize right away that this is the one!24. I wish life was that kind. Most people are blinded by the sparks and the desperation for love that they take the first heart beat as a sign.
25. There’s no ONE, there’s no SOULMATE, not because they don’t exist but because the older you get, the more the standards upon which you evaluate your “one” changes.
26. You have to open your mind to many opportunities and different people in order to set your standards right. After which you’ll be blessed with someone completely the opposite of who you wished to be with.
27. ANYONE who can grant you love, kindness, understanding, appreciation and similar interests can be the one. But, it all comes down to chemistry.
28. You can fall in and out of love a thousand times with different ones and that just proves my point, it’s all about timing and your evaluation.

F. Exchange the one you love for the one who loves you!29. Life is too short to waist it with someone you don’t feel for.
30. There’s always the hunting What If question that you’ll forever more wonder if you don’t grant your heart its chance.
31. People like to believe that if they’re with someone who truly cherish them then that’s the ultimate happiness. However, the ultimate happiness is only found within.
32. Exchanging partners is nothing short of a rebound relationship.
33. If it’s impossible to be with the one you love, don’t torture the one soul who loves you by giving them something less that true love.

Mental Affairs

As human beings we like to believe that as long as our sins are unseen, then as far as we’re concerned, they’ve never happened! May be it is just easier that way, in the self-healing process. I mean it’ll be easier to forgive oneself as long as it’s only you who is pushing the blame button rather than the added exterior selves sharing in the guilt process. Accordingly, the defining moment where a person chooses to feel remorseful depends on his own evaluation of a situation worthy of being called a sin, which again could be very troubling or very alleviating.

It all starts when the going gets an itsy bit rough. Like in every relationship, it could be a fight, a misunderstanding or utter boredom that gets your mind working for other possibilities. In that very moment, which by the way everyone refuse to label as cheating, one finds his peace. But sadly that peace comes with someone else! We’ve all been there; the only difference is that some of us might dismiss the thought immediately while others cave in for the temporary joy.
The reason why all of us hate to refer to those moments as cheating is because there’s no physical action to prove it. It’s all just a bunch of thoughts that- I want to be optimistic and say most of us- don’t want to do anything about. It’s like a relieving mechanism, to think about someone you used to know, like an old love that wasn’t meant to complete. So you give it that honor only in your head. Unfortunately not every thought goes to people you used to know, like or even love. Sometimes it’s the closeness that creates the problem!

Let me walk you through it with a story about a woman who married the love of her life. But as time went by unconditionally of course, inviting the unwanted routine, she- unaware of it- got attached to chatting with a co-worker. And like every such story, it all happened every time she had a fight with her husband or was simply complaining about his diminishing interest in her. Now, I don’t know if the other man’s intentions where pure or not, but he started talking about how special she is and you know the drill. But she being a good woman as she is, it finally hit her that she was sharing her inner most thoughts and concerns with someone else other than her man, so she had to go cold turkey and get rid of that addiction. Despite the fact that she switched departments and got over him entirely, she still refuses to call what happened back then “cheating”. Her explanation is that she was going through some horrible time; he was there to comfort and nothing more.

Apart from me believing that no good could come from a man and a woman spending too much time together even as friends, this was cheating. Whether it happened while awake or daydreaming, it still counts as betrayal. For if ever I learnt that my partner had someone else in mind, even if for a split of a second, I would be devastated and I’m thinking so would he. So let’s just be thankful that our minds are the only places where no one, no matter how good they are, can go into without knocking!

However, all jokes aside, it is a serious matter that we all do at some point during the day where we turn into what ifs. How different my life would be if I married x instead of y? Or in severe cases what if I was never married?!

Thus it would be much more appropriate to invest the time spent wondering in the relationship itself. But first you got to move as far away as possible from the source of distraction whether physically or mentally. In other word, distract yourself from the distraction! Second you must, absolutely must, spend some time reflecting on the reason that pushed you this far. Then, comes the final step, where you get to talk with your partner to implement the necessary changes.
Although the solution seems so simple, tucked into these small lines, talking about it is easier said than done. For temptations lay everywhere and with the aid of the factor that is tough relationships, you do the math. Only this is the type of thing you have to consistently fight and push away. It’s hard having to go through those steps every time you sense a mental affair is about to hit. But if this is the kind of effort you have to exert to keep a relationship you want, then it’s worth the trouble. Just keep one thing in mind, the more you love your partner, the easier it’s to let go of any crawling disruptions.

The deadly traits guaranteed to kill any relationship!

There’s no doubt in my mind that all people are capable of change. Giving the numerous ways of improvements and the endless second chances, I believe anything could be done.
But also considering that love’s blind, people tend to forgive anything regardless how painful it’s to get over a partner’s flaw, as long as it’s doable. To accept that and may be even aim for its improvement is nothing short of a heroic action. Yet there are some qualities- 3 to be specific- that one might think they can let go of but it is only time that can prove otherwise. And before you know it, you’ll be walking out of a relationship with a wound that of course will heal but is as well guaranteed to scar your future relationships.

For that I present to you the three deadly traits- in the unbiased way possible- that if found in any human being, you have to, absolutely have to break it off before it breaks you…

Deadly trait #1: Lying:
We can definitely all agree that relationships are all about trust, right? It’s just good sense, for how can you trust someone who’ve lied to you before?! Even if that special someone did apologize, promised and unconditionally crossed her/his heart to forevermore be honest. Deep down inside you’ll still be doubtful each time they open their mouths to speak. For you might think this is something that you can get over by time. Worse! You might start blaming yourself for not being able to forgive and forget!
The Lying I’m aiming at isn’t like “No, honey you look absolutely gorgeous in that dress” or “I’m ok with you spending more time with your friends, it gives me the space I need, Arghhhhhhhh!” Actually those are the essential white lies, but they’re the huge ones, the big relationship wreckers that you should and absolutely must worry about.
Thus, if you’re positive that your partner is a flat out liar, just walk away and never look back. All you have to do is picture a lifetime of happiness with someone who respects you enough to tell the truth or an endless suffering from a hopeless condition that will get you no where but straight to a mental institute. And the answer will pop itself automatically!

Deadly trait #2: Cheating:I’ll let you in a little story of someone I know. She, like many fresh graduates of her age, got engaged to a suitable suitor of whom she grew fond of rather quickly. Close to the wedding, the groom informed his future wife that he has to go on a business trip for only a week. Accordingly she packed all her emotions for just that day where she could show him how much he’ll be missed. She wrote every day and received his flaming letters with the cutest grin on her face while praying for him to come home safely for their fairytale to start. But fortunately for her, or so I see it, she saw him driving his car with some girl whom he was, let’s say, tickling! She got all confused, first she thought she had the wrong car, as he’s not expected back for another 3 days and he wrote back for God’s sake! But her first gift to him, a white teddy dangling for the rear-view mirror confirmed all her doubts. That guy was him, and it was clear to her that this thing that she once considered a relationship had to end.
Cheating is cutting for anyone, it’s such a slap on the face, especially if you’re giving your best and this is how you’re met. But it doesn’t matter if it’s a built-in trait or a new kicked in habit, it’s just not worth it. First, because this is the kind of condition where only small percentage makes it through but with the highest risk of relapse. Second, Do you think that living in a cynical cage for the rest of your life fun?! Just picture all the fuss about your sinking self-confidence and the invited fights. Picture each time you get introduced to a potential predator, or going away with friends. It’ll just too hectic and repulsive. For honestly, it’s preferable for people to be honest about their monogamy issues rather keeping it to their selves and for their partners to figure out later!

Deadly trait #3: SkimpingI’ve always assumed that the greatest pillar of love is sharing. And I consider the materialistic aspects of a relationship to be the most difficult. For this is when a person’s generosity is put to the test; especially in the most difficult time; when money is tight. Out of million considerations, it’s only reasonable to consider everything else offered in a relationship is free; the softening whispers, the overflowing feelings and the unconditional love for one another. But when it gets to outings and gifts that’s when you really get to know what your partner think of you with the unmistakable testimony where they prefer spending their last 5o pounds on you rather than keeping it to themselves. For those who have cheap partners, I’ve got two words for you, they’ll always be cheap and as if that’s not enough a skimping person is always selfish and materialistic. So unless you do something about it now, get ready for an enjoyable ride of some serious begging!

I normally don’t encourage people to break off a good relationship especially if they’re happy about it. But when it comes to those three, one always needs to find an exit door, preferably a fast short cut to it, for it’s not enough to leave; you have to do it fast!

Is it LOVE that you feel or ADDICTION?!

Back in the days when the twisted human nature was still a mystery waiting to be solved, relationships were accepted as another life necessity. Unaware of the 101 reasons why a person would want to be in one, people just chew over the utter joy and sorrow this partnership brings. And like any other union, you’ll get used to the negatives, as much as you’ll get pretty attached to the positives. Meaning that in time saying I love you will seem so small compared to what you feel inside, fighting the need to be with your love will soon be a battle always lost and the slip goes on till life turns colorless the moment they close their eyes…
Although, it’s uncommon for someone to fall in love without being addicted to his/her source of affection, the thin line between healthy love and sickening addiction is way too transparent for everyone to notice. And I believe that in the midst of our busy lives, while we’re seeking comfort in our lovers- which btw is very normal- some of us might confuse their need for their significant others for love when it’s actually nothing more of an addiction!
Alarming?! Keep reading then…
Despite the fact that being in a relationship is such a sought after blessing, still we can’t be in one for the wrong reasons. And it won’t be fair to define a relationship as an addiction without learning the difference between love and addiction.

So what is Love? Or better yet, what’s it like being in a loving relationship?
Well, as long as trust and mutuality defines the theme for your relationship, you might breathe lightly now that you’re a whole lot closer to “the dream”. To be able to trust your significant other and consider yourself trustworthy as well, simply makes life a lot easier. For each of you get to keep the old friends, continue with the different interests and actually find it fun to have some time alone. You know the typical precaution maneuver to keep him/her yours forever.

But of course there are more to the day-to-day acquaintances than this, at least there are the dreaded moments of vulnerability each us has to slip into once in a while.
And that’s the key sentence, once in a while, but what happens when this “occasional slip” turns into regularity?
I believe it’s time to talk about the “unhealthy form” of relationships and the story of how trust became extinct!
It’s a problem as old as time itself, one partner grows too attached and the other gets stuck having to put up with all the dependency issues that may come along.
How can that happen? Three ways:
1. If one of the two jumped into the relationship for all the wrong reasons like, off the top of my head to avoid loneliness, which is considered the mother of all that is wrong. Because it happens gradually as one turns all weak, pausing life just to be with the other, considering every fight to be the relationship slayer and eventually keeps bottling up inside whichever that is bothering him/her to avoid any potential conflict.
2. If one of the two confuses the word partner for slave! That’s when the possessive shrew comes to light, controlling every movement and hunting each breathe. Basically, it’s when one gets too involved in the others life that kills trust and abolishes equality.
3. If one tends to overlook the infamous5 telltale signs…
a. Difficulty in establishing trust
b. Questioning the need to solidarity
c. Having undefined wants and needs
d. Constantly denying problems and the need to speak his/her mind
e. Considering rebound relationships to be the only road to happiness

If you are willing to admit that either you or your partner is relationship addicts then it’ll be easy to treat it like any other compulsion. So, here goes some helpful steps for a happier you…

Step 1: After making peace with your problem, you’ll probably find it easy to understand that love is only a part of your life, small or big, that’s your call. Just know that it isn’t your whole life.
Step 2: Spend time working on your issues that have nothing to do with your partner. For example if it’s your self-esteem that is giving you a hard time trusting your partner, then start reflecting on your good qualities and improve whatever that leaves you feeling bad.
Step 3: To get over being in a relationship just to be in one, get to know more people only this time expect nothing in return.
Step 4: Like sobering up, you need to abstain from relationships and any resemblance to them.

One last thing that I’m sure lots of people can agree with;
True love is worth the wait…

Invading her territory (Understanding women= A happy life!)

Most single men when asked about the women that they want to fill the unbearable void in their lives; a welcoming delightful vision of the infamous Helen of Troy fantasy comes to mind. And then they start picturing an entire life by her side, lying on the beach, sharing romantic candle light dinners, growing old together and how easily resolved their fights will be as there’s nothing in this world that could get them despising a remarkable beauty as Helen of Troy, right?! But here’s where they are wrong, or more precisely delusional. For men only see the one dimensional version of the “flawless beauty”, they focus on the one moment when women show up with their made up faces and perfect figures and that’s definitely not the ultimate truth. I personally believe that it has become one of the world most dealt with knowledge that women are clingy, whiny and needy. And despite the popularity of that priceless piece of information, men keep on forgetting about it and seem to pretty much enjoy complaining about the same characteristics that had them falling head over heels for their women. How’s that even possible? It’s a story as old as time itself, where a man eyes a beautiful weak woman and instantly answers the call for his obligation to provide her with the protection and the affection she’s missed out along her torturous long life. There’s nothing a man can appreciate more other than being wanted and needed unconditionally by his beloved spouse. And consequently, there’s nothing more calming to any woman’s endless irrational fears than knowing that she has a powerful rock onto which she can lean or even hide behind when the going gets rough.
The provocative question that has to be imposed here is, if a man is well aware of women’s nature, why is he still looking for an exceptional woman who no matter how practical or self-composed she is will inevitably show her female side?
I’d be lying straight to your faces if I claimed my full comprehension to this contradicting but understandable confusion. But I can give you this, it’s the same case with women who keep on searching for the sensitive butch guy, all the while knowing that he’ll never be found; for boys will be always be boys!

So what gives? As in the open and shut case mentioned previously for the sake of picking on men’s brains, there’s another side of the story exclusively designed to fit a woman’s brain. But first let’s have some prep talk to get you all ready for the next shocking verity. If you (talking to men here) screwed something up and thought of the perfect distraction to get your woman to forgive your childish act, think again. If you (again talking to men) think that temporary ending your fights would give her the chance to focus on something else, once more, you better think again! Okay that’s enough anticipation, now it’s time to reveal the lucid truth…

The open and shut case for women (aka her territory)
Last time we’ve covered enough ground regarding the “men think in a sequential way” notion but it’s in “the spiral way” women think with which creates more than it actually satisfies the blasting bewilderment. Considering multitasking to be the only good aspect of it, as it’s a very tiring process that consumes a lot of a woman’s energy to clear her head up. And sometimes it’s actually easier to be mentally occupied with one thing rather than a million hammering thoughts thrusting through one’s brain. To help you grasp the full picture, let’s go back to that mental apartment we portrayed last time but with slight changes. For example, men had sex to be the first thing on their minds but for women the “master room” would have to be a personal one, reflecting on their emotions. Then come family, friends, work and shopping in an order that varies according to a woman’s personality and goals in life. Now the vast difference lay in the moving pattern from one room to the next, unlike men, women don’t close any doors behind thus she can move freely from one room to the next whenever and as much as she likes. In other words, a woman could be facing a business crisis while thinking about her man and not only that but she would actually take 5 min off her busy schedule just to hear him say: “I missed you too”!
And so it’s very difficult for a woman to let go or replace one thought with another just to unwind for a bit. Now here’s the good news, considering the emotional nature which is like the most precious possession any woman cherishes, women constantly and I mean constantly think about their men. And the bad news is that they constantly think about anything related to their men, whether it’s the sweet phone call they’ve just shared or the worst fight they’ve ever had!
The reason I wanted to share this with you, especially men, is because you have to stop searching for a different kind of woman for she doesn’t exist. And since this isn’t a trait women can get over, one can say it’s in their genes, you have to start dealing with it as a solid reality. And you know what; once you try it you’re going to love it. Not only that you’ll feel good putting a smile on your beloved face but the pampery reward you’re definitely going to get will be worth every trouble along the way. For when have I ever let you down?!
And since we’ve established that mutual trust, try memorizing those facts about women every man should know by heart and watch your love life grow tremendously passionate by the minute…

1. Women are conversation oriented; they always prefer to discuss their problems even if a quick solution is at hand.

2. Women are continuously insecure about their image, telling her she looks great won’t do the work but that doesn’t mean you need to tell her the truth!

3. Women are in constant need for affection and reassurance of a man’s loyalty and eternal love regardless of how long they’ve been together.

4. The easiest way to a woman’s heart is through her ears; whisper the softest words and you’ve earned an unlimited pass to her heart, mind and soul

5. Women enjoy being emotional as they actually seek the extra care and attention that’s poured on them by their men when a single tear roll down their face.

6. When a women say that a man’s looks doesn’t matter, just know that deep down inside she’s intensely praying for a Brad Pitt look alike.

7. Most women hate to lead, but want their identities preserved, only few women want full independency and those are the exceptional distinctive women to look for.


Live to Love is the code every woman live by and to be honest, I couldn’t think of a better way to help you men understand what love feels like for a woman than Judy Garland quote that read “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

Inside the Men's Maze

Forevermore, it has been a mutual apprehension that both men and women see each other as enigmatic creatures who never fail to drive the other up the wall trying to cope with the loathed yet desired disparities. But it’s no secret that men and women are wired differently, thus it’s the meticulous understanding of how each gender is wired that will help decode their secret languages. Deciding to start with the male side first was never a happily paraded choice, for you wouldn’t believe the numerous articles and research papers conducted on understanding women and the diminutive, barely noticed “notes” written about men! I’ve always known women to be the talkative gender, but always assumed that men are the self-absorbed snobs who only care about their needs and wants. Never in a million years would I’ve expected that men could be considered a minority compared to women, don’t get me wrong, I’m proud, but come on I had to go to page 10 to find a decent research about men!!
So out of deep concern for us women and for the men who might not know why they act or react the way they do, let’s pick on their brains first…

There are usually three things that all women regardless their age, social standards or even relationship statuses complain about when it comes to their men. One: they always seem to overlook our existence when at work or hanging out with friends, two: the way they react to our concerns is so nonchalant that it hints the triviality of our thoughts and three: there never is a “perfect timing” for us to talk.

I know I’m not supposed to take sides here, but sometimes I can’t just ignore my feminine temperament nor the fact that I’m in a relationship myself. Except that this is all confusing and may be even impressive, for how can a man one day says that he wants to spend his entire life by his woman’s side when the minute he walks into his office, he literally forgets all about her! Do you see my point now? It’s because of these actions, women vibes the instability of their relationships and since our hands are never tied, it’s only inevitable for us to fight for the survival of “us” with all the artilleries we can master.
A lot can provide a simple answer for this quandary by saying that men are task-oriented, and it’s true. But it’s just never enough, I mean, ever since we’ve learnt how to spell the word relationship, it has been sort of a given that men are the butch ones who’re main concern is business while women are the emotional malleable gender who’re always on the search for love. Which is very applicable, giving nature norms, but it goes further than this, much deeper than sentiment or passion. For it is no longer acceptable to say this is how men have always been, they have always been that way for a reason and you’re about to find out why…
The open and shut case:

Almost two years ago, I came across a phrase that read “Men think in a sequential way while women think in a spiral way”. I wasn’t all that surprised by that spiral notion as it’s almost a fact that women excel when it comes to multitasking, something we’ve been bantering men over for years. But it’s definitely that sequential arrangement that got me into thinking, for it was the awaited salvation every woman needed to find her way through the men’s maze. Grasping the concept of men’s way of thinking is easily accomplished by picturing the things that usually cram their minds as an apartment divided up into rooms. Of course there can be thousands of rooms there, but let’s only focus on the common details. Usually there are 4 things that’s always on a man’s mind; sex, friends, home (denoting the wife and kids) and work. On any given day, a man wakes up in the morning to go to work but before he does that, he has to close the home “room” for him to open the work “room”. Meaning that a man is capable of giving his full attention to only one thing at a time, he can never be in two places. That explains a lot right? That’s why he barely calls when at work or with friends, it’s because his mind is mainly set on one thing and it’s only when a man’s comfortable that he can think of many things at the same time. Thus choosing the “perfect timing” to talk about whichever is never when he’s watching TV or with friends, because he won’t give you his full attention then, he has to be mentally out of those rooms to enter yours.
And sometimes he can be physically in one place when his mind is elsewhere, like struggling with a work-related problem, that’s why I chose the word “mentally” as this is what matters the most.

So now you know the secret and probably figured out why men seem all that confused when we accuse them of forgetting all about us.
It’s just how their brains work, more organized and in sequence than ours. Now all what’s left for me to do is provide you with how do women think, but since it’s a lo-oooo-ng story, let’s save it for next time. Now, I’ll leave you with
Facts about men any women should know:
- Men prefer to keep their problems to themselves and think about them for a while.
- A man would want to come up with something concrete to say or a specific solution for a problem rather than just discussing several options with women.
- The average male is far less verbal than the average female.
- Roughly 60% of all men are of the T-Type “thinkers”
- Many men feel like they are expected to lead. When others don't follow, men can feel like failures
- Many men prefer to work individually rather than as a team
- Some men appear to be especially critical or to enjoy conflict

How much do you know about your partner's needs? Part 2

Both men and women walk into a relationship searching for the same things, for the love, the support and the warmth.
Yet, ironically, each finds it difficult to deliver those needs to the other! Assuming of course that both parties are mentally stable, they happen to love each other and want for that relationship to go on forever- or so it seems for now! I think it’s the misconceptions we’ve all been spooned our entire lives concerning relationships and the opposite sex ; for example I’ve grown to believe- as most of us- that men are selfish and women are needy!
So, out of concern, I conducted a two questions survey:
A. What do You want from a relationship?
B. What do YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER wants/ would want from the relationship?
The answers to which proved that both sexes want the same 8 basic characters and know their partners want them as well. So, why are we fighting? Let’s see…

5. Regarding Commitment & Fidelity:
Men, want commitment as much as women, it’s just a matter of assurance, men take longer time to make sure that they chose the right woman and probably some more time to get over their commitment issues! Other than that, they want the same stability, the home and the comfort zone. And when it comes to infidelity, it’s a deal-breaker to men exactly as it’s to women, with no exceptions or excuses…
Every woman wants the commitment, the stability, knowing that she has a man – one man- whom she can cherish and love…
Men know women want commitment, it’s sort of a given that even though women also experience cold feet but it’s much less intense. Actually most women can’t wait to commit, they’re known as commitment freaks!
But it’s the part where men think women prefer to commit to a player is where they’re wrong, for women who want relationships never want players. Sure, they’d feel special if a player chose them over all other women but instead of that little voice inside warning that a man might be cheating, they’ll be left with load siren’s screams driving them to insanity!
Women think men suffer commitment allergies, that they’d only commit on physical levels and whenever they find a more attractive “female” they’d drool all over her and leave!
It turned to a common belief that men can’t be trusted to be faithful, they’d run whenever things get just a little bit tough and they don’t seem to handle the whole relationship moving forward requirements that well!

6. Regarding Support:
Men want to accomplish things WITH NO HELP WHAT SO EVER from others. Sure they’d want women to ask if they need it to which they’ll usually reply with a no but preferably to end at that instead of being forced to receive help they never wanted in the first place.
Women want is to have the support they need without having to ask for it… yes we would!
Men think women want NO SUPPORT, believing in the saying “treat people the way you want to be treated” thus out of not wanting to sound too pushy, as long as women don’t ask for it, men won’t volunteer to do it!
One thing you have to know is that the more women love, the more they offer support thus support is a sign of love. That’s why women tend to feel disappointed when men don’t offer that.
Women think men want incredible support! That’s enough said, just gracefully move to the next point!

7. Regarding Sharing & Compromise:
Men want someone with whom they can share the good and the bad, that’s one of the lead reasons why they get into a relationship in the first place. They want the company and the warmth and when it comes to compromise, they actually like to have things done differently once in a while as long as it goes with their beliefs. In fact, having women do things their way occasionally, saves them a couple of fights with the streaming lecture, why do we always have to do things your way?! . Seriously why?!
What women want is for men to stop thinking of them as superwomen who can get everything done PERFECTLY in a heart beat; that it’ll be actually nice if they’d act like gentlemen and offer some assistance without having to ask for it ourselves.
To tell you the truth about us compromising easier, it’s not about being angels but it’s actually the fastest way to get you men to stop nagging!
Men think women want sharing when it comes to emotional, non tasks-related matters, otherwise they’ll be messing up the system for they never meet their partners’ expectations. And knowing that women are more emotional and happen to be more of kind-hearted creatures, thus it’d be easy to convince them to compromise; more like to push over –huh!!!!!!!!!
Women think men don’t want to share anything; they’re so cheap when it comes to words or duties for that matter. Worse, they want things done whenever and however they want them done, no compromise, no negotiation. It’s like I say it, you do it!

8. Regarding Appreciation & Acknowledgment:
Men want more praise to what they’re doing correctly and more acknowledgements that they happen to be good men whom efforts are appreciated…
Also, Women want their efforts to be appreciated, even when she calls to make sure you got home alright, she’d feel a lot better if you’d say thank you, instead of ignoring her calls! Because, take my words on this, there’s nothing that could dry a relationship up as under appreciation…
Men think women want Appreciation… that’s funny because it almost looks like they don’t know women want that!
Women think men don’t need their praise or acknowledgment, they don’t value their opinions either as men are always right!!

Having known all this wouldn’t it be easier if we could read each others minds and hear each others thoughts?
Yet again if we weren’t so different we wouldn’t have been magnetized. It’s in our differences where the magic begins and in our similarities where it subsides…

How much do you know about your partner's needs? Part 1

Both men and women walk into a relationship searching for the same things, for the love, the support and the warmth.
Yet, ironically, each finds it difficult to deliver those needs to the other! Assuming of course that both parties are mentally stable, they happen to love each other and want for that relationship to go on forever- or so it seems for now! I think it’s the misconceptions we’ve all been spooned our entire lives concerning relationships and the opposite sex ; for example I’ve grown to believe- as most of us- that men are selfish and women are needy!
So, out of concern, I conducted a two questions survey:
A. What do You want from a relationship?
B. What do YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER wants/ would want from the relationship?
The answers to which proved that both sexes want the same 8 basic characters and know their partners want them as well. So, why are we fighting? Let’s see…


1. Regarding Love & Affection:Men Want a woman whom they can spoil; literally pour all their love and attention over. A woman who can satisfy every female role he’d ever want in his life whether a best friend, a lover, a co-worker or even a mother. So believe it or not men are romantic, they love candle light dinners and that feeling where they bring happiness to someone else. Call it a self- satisfactory mechanism but men aren’t that selfish after all!
Women want to feel loved and special, to feel that someone loves everything about her and most importantly constantly- I repeat constantly- deliver the message that she’s the priority. Thus if her number one need is neglected or if the message doesn’t get through, that would cause a big strain in the relationship that might never heal!

Men think Women Want to feel loved as well, but most men live by this code “If you aren’t asking for more, then I’m doing my job right” It’s true, since men know women to be this annoyingly demanding creatures that if a tiny portion of their need is missing they’d turn men’s lives into a living hell, till it’s just the way they want it to be!!
Women think men want to be loved more than they want to offer love; that they find it more enjoyable down at the receiving end of the rope to the extent of demanding the “si el sayed” kind of affection where if they’re gone women just stop living till they decide to mount off their high horse and return to save lives!!

2. Regarding Communication:Men want honest-based communications, where a woman would answer questions clearly, with no hidden messages for they don’t want to read anybody’s mind or spend days trying to understand signals when it could take a minute if only their partners would be clear about it. So the bottom line is men prefer straight forward conversations as long as the woman’s smart enough to know when and how…
Women want their words to be heard, a man who is a good listener is like a rare diamond. Because most of the times they don’t need a solution, they only want to speak their minds and when they want one they’ll ask for it, only then one might start praying for men to find an appropriate solution, instead of “inshallah 5er”!

Men think women want them to solve whatever problem they’re complaining about, that by telling them about their feelings, certain things are expected among which men are supposed to make the source of irritation go away.
Women think men want them to be superficial, keep quiet when it comes to their needs and wants, preferably deal with them on their own because otherwise they’ll be abandoned! And because women believe that men want no conversation what so ever, they use manipulation, thinking it’s the only way to be heard without driving her man away.

3. Regarding Security:Shockingly after conducting the survey I found that not even a single man referred to security as a relationship-must. I don’t know if that has to do with pride but I do believe that emotional security greatly affects the commitment and stability every man desires. For how can anyone find that peace of mind if you’re not sure your partner would stick forever?!
And women exactly want that, it’s their only companion during the hard times, knowing that their men still love them despite of their conflicts…

Men think younger women tend to want physical security while older women search for financial security but it doesn’t navigate the emotional security every woman regardless of her age needs.
Women think men want constant reassurance that they’ll always be there for them, in fact most women believe that security lies in men knowing that their partners are waiting for them and that they’ll never leave no matter what.

4. Regarding Independency & Space:All what men want is to be wanted and needed by their partners- sometimes they over do it but overall they don’t want a push over woman who “makan mat7otaha tla2eha” they want someone with a separate identity, to be “partially” independent, having her own friends and interests to find something to talk/ fight about!
Oh and they demand space, but that’s sort of a given, right?!
What women want is for men to be less controlling, to have faith in their abilities to fix whatever is wrong themselves and this actually motivates women to run that extra mile to meet up with their men’s expectations. It’s every woman’s dream to find someone who could help her grow and develop not hold down or push back!

Men think women constantly need their help with fixing whatever mess they’ve caused. That they’re such weak creatures who can’t do things on their own!
Women think men want Obedience, which is also a common belief and to be honest sometimes it is the truth! As there are those who love having the upper hand; keeps on dominating till deleting a woman’s identity. But the good part is that they regret it later when they find themselves living with a totally dependant, whinny, and needy 8 year old baby girl!

To Be Continued,