Monday, November 11, 2013

Excuse me while I Gloat!

Today, I saw the look in a girl's eyes... A girl who used to intimidate me...

Today I intimidated her!

I have awakened all her weaknesses and vulnerability.

I was the image she wanted to be and that satisfied me...

I felt powerful, successful, and afraid.

The fear was overpowering; that of losing what I have mercilessly earned...

Today... I... WON!


Monday, February 11, 2013

On finding my "calling" or whatever!

I have come a long way from knowing absolutely nothing about my gifts, to knowing a little bit, to thinking that I know it all, to here... Where I am flat out confused!

Between the words, the fashion, the media, and the academics, I'm completely and impressively lost!

So I keep on reading, researching, and revisiting my old passions in a desperate attempt to discover what Oprah names my CALLING...

There are two types of people in everyone's life; those who are there to make you appreciate your gifts; others who will make you want to start over.

Pain is never exclusive

In my world; WORDS speak louder than ACTIONS.

A life-taught lesson; shame commences revolutions.

When it comes to beauty, God has the best taste.

Lies are always subjective; honesty is rarely objective.

Either figure out a way to worthiness, or create an exit for uselessness.

The older we grow, the lonelier we get. Period

Wish I had spent time wasted thinking about me, rather than on what people might think of me.

Ignoring is the best instantaneous cure.

Waiting does put out fires; passions too,

There is always a Plan B.

A talented man creates possibilities out of nothing; a tedious man kills what he loves the most.

One day my dreams will be my present.

The deadliest combination is a tongue that moves faster than the mind; and a mind that moves faster than actions.

Chances are to be taken at your risk. Period

The moment you'll stop feeling sorry for yourself is the same moment all your excuses will jump right out of the window.

Don't blame me for my slackness when all you did was make excuses for me.

Maturity kicks in when YOU are no longer your BIGGEST concern.

Logic is not the same with everyone. Period

Choosing a path does not guarantee the commitment.

It is not important to know what you want, knowing what you need is enough.


Friday, November 2, 2012


In one of my many, many, moments of desperation and the rumbles of me failing as a mother - the fact that I was not able to potty train my boy in two weeks and the fact that it has been three months since I have started... I had a thought...

What if I was magically turned into someone else?

Someone who did not get married as young as I did; someone who do not have the responsibilities that I shoulder. What if my life was only about work, success and more success?

The mere thought of a new life and a new me flattered my ego and had blood pumping through my veins. Could it be that I am not happy? Or is it just another attempt at satisfaction?

The role that I play daily, being a loving wife and a warm mother who rarely show discontent... It is just NOT WORKING! I am either faking a smile or cutting my demons loose. I find it boring... Not my style; and I feel guilty!

I want nothing but the best for my almost three year old son when all I am giving him is orders, screams, and the occasional " you're a naughty boy!"

I love my man to death, he is the love of my life, yet I manage somehow to always, I mean always, point out his flaws.

I have been going through this over and over in my head, for two years now and I realized... I AM NOT HAPPY

It is not that my son is "naughty" all kids are, it is not that my husband is flawed, I can write pages about my identity crisis, it is me... And that is something very hard for a Leo to admit. I do not need a different life... I need better time-management skills!

I need to get angry, or better yet re-focus my anger towards myself, rather than spraying it out on everyone else!

I see people, all around me, making it work for themselves... Succeeding in whatever they want to do, even if it was about making a casserole!

So, I am putting my anger out there, for the world to read...

I am angry... At me... And not someone else...


Sunday, September 2, 2012

Why do you wake up in the morning?!

During a much casual conversation which started out as a meaningless talk to keep us alert after an intense night of serious clubbing, my husband simply asked, why do you wake up for in the morning?

Trying to hide the fact that this simple question struck a deep wound in my heart, I instantly, yet carefully replied; to work... I lied, because lately I've been turned between two lives, two worlds where I'm the only common factor, the life of a housewife who still didn't reach the point of desperation and that of a career woman who has a lot on her plate. I pretend to work, ye, that is my ugly truth so I don't feel useless and worth of a nothing. I pretend to write while all I do I just stare at a blank page with no words and no intention to be filled with words.

The question, why do you wake up in the morning, has no answer in my book. I don't know why I wake up in the morning. I want to work, in fact I have tons of dream and goals I wish I can fulfill, yet I allow the days to slip away and burn my dreams...

I have the same goals since 2009 and yet I always startle when I come across a note with an old date showing my achievement skills are up to nothing. It's as if all that I'm good for is watching other people live the life that I want and do nothing about it as if I have no will power... If I continue like this I will definitely end up a nothing and i'm not used to being a nothing.

In another life, I should be waking up for what should be worthy to and of me , the multiple fires that would drive me right out of that bed but I'm putting them all down as a result of my slackness...

My baby. Boy, my husband, my work, my home, my family, friends and life...

I need to start living my life instead of dreaming and fantasizing about it... I need to get it together and suck it up for once till I make it through... I need that feeling of a proud worthy woman back... I desperately need it...

Everyday I realize that what I'm doing right now is not enough to get me where I want to be yet I do nothing about it... 

Why do you wake up in the morning? 
Answer: blank


Friday, March 23, 2012

Studying the Egyptian media coverage for the elections

Please answer this survey


Monday, February 13, 2012

Ever thine... ever mine... ever Ours

All my life I swore never to depend on a man for happiness,
Yet, here I am… writing with your pen… on a paper you bought me… in your home… waiting for you…
You have made my life magical in ways that I never thought is real.
You have made every Valentine’s more special…
You have made every impossible… Possible

For forever my name will be connected to yours…
My entire life… Presence and future relies on you…
It is hard for me to admit that
But without you I do not exist…
I grew up in your arms
I became a woman and a mother because of you…
I love you with everything than I am
I am yours and you, my love, shall forever be mine…

Ever thine… Ever mine… Ever ours…


Friday, January 27, 2012

To all the morons out there...

In my head I won a nobel prize
In my head I’m friends with Oprah
In my head I’m a renowned writer,
         One who matters
In my head I’m the world’s focus
   My every word is important
   My every move is worth covering
In my head I’m a bestselling author
In my head I’m better than Paulo Coelho
In my head everyone is interested to
               Know me
In my head I’m the reason why the world
             Is a better place
In my head my existence matter
In my head I’m named by people’s magazine
      The no.1 most influential person
In my head I build an effective education system
In my head I’m the reason behind every
             Great change
In my head I’m a supermom
            One whose kids look up to her
In my head I’m flawless
In my head I’m the perfection of
In my head I’m fabulous
In my head I’m the one who
        Sets the standards
In my head I’m always smiling
In my head I reach satisfaction
In my head I’m a mogul
In my head I’m the source of
In my head I die a noble death
In my head I leave while
In my head I live the full life
In my head the whole world
         Mourns my death
In my head I die young
        Never to be forgotten
In my head I’m larger than life

So please,
the next time you see me don’t just tell me I’m beautiful