Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts

Monday, May 11, 2009

Things that bring guys to tears (CONVO April 09)


2d eh ana far7ana! And I thought men were heartless. However when they're stripped off their muncho act, male ego and cultural pressure, their soft-core rises up like a phenox from the ashes. Don't get me wrong ana msh fr7ana fehom, God forbid, I'm just relieved. The whole men can cheat without feeling guilty is a rumor, the fact that they can move on in a blink of an eye is an anecdote and the no tears policy is just a cover for their frowned upon feminine sides. I asked the toughest men I know, what can make you cry? I promised complete anonymousness and I will deliver. Besides who cares about the names when the story is this good?!

There's always been this raw magnetism which attracted me to men who cry. Men who are strong, powerful and very much confident about their masculinity, that it's not a shame to cry. Girls can relate to what I'm saying here, Hercules is a hunk mafesh kalam but it's his humanitarian side and special moments that made him more than just an eye candy. I don't mean whiny men, God no, no one likes that. But it's comforting for a woman to feel that her man, her protector, her mountain, can understand her sorrow or her non-women drama, as one of the men puts it. That being said, let's scan men for their soft core…

1. Death
That was not much of a scoop here; I mean it's the accustomed answer.
Girl asks a guy: When was the last time you've cried?
Guy answers: mmm, when my grandma died, I guess.
It's the male-perfect explanation with which he escapes the risk of being heartless and he lands in the just right zone of not sounding too girlie. So, I had to dig deeper for the real deal…

2. Failure
Whether it's related to relationships, achievements, understanding oneself or money. Let's pause at the money part for a moment, men everywhere, not just in our culture, are providing-oriented, they're born producers not consumers. Thus, it's a real ball buster when the man feels that he can not provide. Things get even worse when the women in his life recognizes his failure. "I feel as if I'm not even man enough to give her what she deserves" one of the interviewee said. Failure strikes hard for both genders, but from the male point of view, the less people know about this low-point, the easier for a man to deal with. It all has to do with their caves and their refusal to share. So, they end up mourning their "ability to provide"

3. Injustice
"Part of being man is to be free," M. said. This is very true for one of the few things a mother would tell her daughter about men, which is similar to what John Gray named as the rubber band effect. Men need their spaces, they need to be left alone to think, work, act, decide before they come flying to their lives. Thus, more than women, should understand that, but they don't. Most men don't grant women the same pleasure and confine their choices, leading to injustice. For men, confining them is a killer, taking away their right to say no is soul sucking and having to stand helplessly while others are being subjected to injustice is manhood slaughtering. That's why many guys admitted that seeing poor, sick and dying people bring tears to their eyes. But unlike women, tears aren't coming from feeling sorry, but from the I can't do anything to help them side.

4. "WOMEN"
Yes! Now we're talking… The men crying because of women deal is a four-fold matter. According to my muncho men, they cry when they're:
a. Conquered: Recently, many people have been leaning on women who took the equality quarrel a bit too far and I'm one of them! To tell you the truth, I almost lost my man because of the whole women=men
crap. It took me a while to differentiate between equality and identical-ity. Someone must wear the pants in every relationship, it can't be both. If a woman chose to take the lead, then she'll be deprived from feeling like a woman, who's loved, approached and protected, the normal amount of course. And her man will feel lost! He's not a man in his relationship, he's not even a woman, he's just a human being. When men feel that way, decent men cry, not-so-decent men cheat! They go for the woman who can praise their ego and happily allow them to wear their much fitted pants.
b. Breaking-up: "I cried while writing a message to a girl that I got really attached to, and I had to leave for some specific reasons" O. confessed. Many men related to that and I was really pleased that for them love hurts for them too. But, one of them had to ruin it for me by saying " btw, the 2nd situation wasn't like I burst into tears or something, they were just a few drops (man's ego :D)" Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh
c. "When missing my girl": Now, that’s so cute, manly and says a lot about the effect women could have on men's lives if they're gone. To tell you a little something, it's not easy for a man to hand in his secrets to any woman, let alone his sweetheart who he needs to impress with his colored, flawless feathers.
d. Humiliation: Mockery is men's worst fears, especially when it's coming from the ones they're trying too hard to impress. There are certain things a woman should never tease a man about including height, physic, financial status and attitude. And this is an article I'm working on now, for, from men points of view it's not accepted to happen whether in private or in public or else, he'll go searching for someone who can appreciate his manhood.

5. And finally MOVIES!
S. said; "a7yanan bashoof regala keteer 3enehom bedama3 3ala mash-had drama fel tv, bas lama tewagheehom yenkeroo awy we ye2adoha de7k" With men confessing that they enjoy the occasional dramatic scenes in movies, but my own, whom I swear saw teary, but is still denying it! Balance has been restored to the universe and I still appreciate men who are peaceful with their emotions, 23teref ba2a… Walahi msh ha2oul l 7ad!

Monday, February 16, 2009

The 33 Relationship truths no one will ever tell you


It’s always hard to avoid the inevitable, let alone give in to the faulty snobbishness of knowing the right thing to do. As there is the straw that broke the camel’s back, there’s also the one who added that extra fatal burden. It’s true that no one was born a relationship wizard for those who are now, certainly had their share of heartaches. The problem is that it’s not easy to find people who are willing to admit their failures; they can blame them on bad luck or their partners at best! But there are only a few who are guaranteed to share with you, not only the faults, but the blunders that led to those pit falls. Who are those one of a kind honest people? Actually, for now it’s only me, but since it’s my Relationship Rewired finale, I wanted to give you something special.
So, hear out the major relationship truths, you need to snap right out of…

A. Opposite attracts!1. This is just another lie you or your friends might promote to not see your grumpy face.
2. Opposite may attract in physics but in relationships, similarities make life more enjoyable.
3. It’s absolutely crucial for your partner to share your interests and more importantly your beliefs, as things won’t always come down to you two. There will be kids along the way!
4. Being different from other people she/he might have known is appealing, but being different from her/him is not!
5. Life is always made easy with an understanding partner who can relate to your problems, if she/he is on the other end, how can they empathize?
6. I won’t lie to you, it might be fun, experiencing new places, meeting different people, getting introduce to different side of you, you might not have known. This is all good, in a crush/dating way but when it comes to settling down, you need someone to survive with, pull you up not in all directions!

B. You have to be in love 24/7!7. Come on! You know better than this, imagine having to eat honey every day, eventually, it’ll lose both its sweet taste and alluring charm.
8. This has nothing to do with reality for it takes no genius to realize that the more you contact each other, the more you clash!
9. Where’s the fun in that? The bad is intended to be there, not to make our lives worse, but to help us appreciate and long for the good sides as well.
10. It’s at the most difficult situations and the hideous fights when you get to discover the real, unraveled version of your partner. Only then you can decide whether the relationship is worth putting up with the ugly face or not!
11. That’s movie love and it’s named that for a reason. Everyone fights for the good time, that’s what makes a relationship worthy of your sacrifice.

C. You can always change what you hate about your partners!12. A flat out Lie! You can never change someone simply because you can’t even change yourself.
13. People can pretend to change for the person they love, but their true selves will soon out speak their love.
14. Part of being IN LOVE with someone is to love them the way they are, accept them as a package that can’t be altered.
15. When you’ve been with someone for long and you know that she/he has actually changed. It’s not that they changed because of you; it’s that you HELPED bring out the best that was already in them.
16. It’s a dream that we all have about our ONES, but unfortunately it’s what you hate to love about them that makes life magical.
17. If you’re lucky enough to witness your grandparents’ relationship, you’ll see how those once hated traits are now unseen. Not out of love, not out of surrender but because those very same hateful bits are now accustomed and worse, replaced by new ones!

D. Always speak what’s on your mind18. Almost everyone believes that using what God placed in your head is damaging to your relationship. WRONG!
19. Consider something minor as simple as wanting comfort from your one when you’re feeling down. That’s normal, it’s your right and frequent in our hectic lives. And since you refuse to your mind, you’ll stumble across her/him and literally spill out your guts regardless of their mood!
20. There’s a huge difference between honesty and cleverness.
21. Being the comfort zone for your beloved is not easy and of course it doesn’t come naturally. It takes practice to learn when it’s your time to talk and when you should shut up!
22. Speaking what’s on your mind is your granted right that no one can deny you, but it’s when and how you should exercise that right that will get you the best feedback you’ll ever need.
23. One of life’s most hurtful truths, you can’t control anyone even controlling yourself is most of the times hard to muster.

E. You’ll realize right away that this is the one!24. I wish life was that kind. Most people are blinded by the sparks and the desperation for love that they take the first heart beat as a sign.
25. There’s no ONE, there’s no SOULMATE, not because they don’t exist but because the older you get, the more the standards upon which you evaluate your “one” changes.
26. You have to open your mind to many opportunities and different people in order to set your standards right. After which you’ll be blessed with someone completely the opposite of who you wished to be with.
27. ANYONE who can grant you love, kindness, understanding, appreciation and similar interests can be the one. But, it all comes down to chemistry.
28. You can fall in and out of love a thousand times with different ones and that just proves my point, it’s all about timing and your evaluation.

F. Exchange the one you love for the one who loves you!29. Life is too short to waist it with someone you don’t feel for.
30. There’s always the hunting What If question that you’ll forever more wonder if you don’t grant your heart its chance.
31. People like to believe that if they’re with someone who truly cherish them then that’s the ultimate happiness. However, the ultimate happiness is only found within.
32. Exchanging partners is nothing short of a rebound relationship.
33. If it’s impossible to be with the one you love, don’t torture the one soul who loves you by giving them something less that true love.