Monday, December 15, 2008

الجزمة خلصت حق صدام حسين

أنا فضلت سكتة يوم كامل بعد قصة بوش والجزمة مش قادرة أفهم اللخبطة اللى جوايا... هو أنا فرحانة لإنه إتهان مش بالكلام لأن ياما إتكلمنا ومحدش سمع ولا باطماطم لأنها مبتوجعش وهو ياما وجع ناس كثير لكن بالجزمة ومتهيألى مش محتاجة أفسر ليه! بس بجد إنتو عرفين الموقف ده إتربط عندى بإيه؟ مش هتصدقو... الموقف ده بالتحديد فكرنى بيوم شنق صدام! وكإنه تخليص حق! هو أكيد ضرب الجزمة اللى حتى مجتش فى بوش مش زى شنق إنسان مش هقول إنه كان رئيس دولة ولا كان وحش ولا كويس إنما إنسان يتشنق قدام العالم كلة فى أول أيام العيد... منظر مش ممكن هنساه... بجد سبحان المعز المذل... مين كان يصدق إن رئيس أقوى دولة فى العالم يضرب بالجزمة قدام العالم كله برضه واللى حارق دمى إنها مجتش فيه

Teaching with a hand of steel (Euphoria Dec'08)

School happens to be an enjoyable experience for almost everyone, we long for the days when all we had to do was be with our friends, study with them, play with them and share gossip about our favorite teachers. Remember the teachers? How we loved them, looked up to them, and how ecstatic we felt when spotting them by the beach with their families, as if they were celebrities! Well, when you come to think it, they were our celebrities, the centerpiece of every conversation we shared and it’s all because of their unique personalities and the tremendous impact they had on us that until that day we might not be fully aware of! It’s such a blessing to be able to choose your school, meet nice friends and be taught by honorable teachers with the right to speak up when facing any “bizarre” reaction from them.
Unfortunately, not everyone can afford this luxury; there are people who strive, struggle, persevere and all for one simplest goal, educate their children.
Which school? The most affordable one
Who are the teachers? Doesn’t matter
What are the principles and ethics of such school? Don’t even care as long as my child will gain the necessary knowledge to be better than myself.
The same scenario happens every time less privileged parents admit their “precious” child to school, having to give in to harsh circumstances and endless demands personalize their hard to notice financial conditions.
They want the best for their babies and this is the best they can afford.
They want proper education but proper is misunderstood in our country and as the wise Egyptian saying puts it “who doesn’t have, doesn’t need”!

The parent’s catalogue:
Parents can be easily categorized into four groups:
A. Submissive parents who can be easily abused by the school and the teachers as well and all for the sake of their child’s welfare. Thus they can very well accommodate abusive behavior towards their child as long as it’s “nothing serious”
B. Impartial parents don’t really care, as long as their kid gets the necessary education. How it’s done? It’s really a matter of perspective here even if the teacher had to spoon feed the information!
C. Vigorous parents usually suffer from egoistic problems that it becomes more of how can you yell or hit or whatever the thing the teacher does to MY child? All he/she cares for is the possessiveness of the child, but what’s right or wrong, what’s accepted and what’s not is never the case here!
D. Over- sensitive parents die a little inside every time something happens to their child, everything is always a big deal regardless how small or trivial it may be.

Cry over the news!

A teacher kills a student because the 11 year old student didn’t do his homework!
A mathematics teacher in Alexandria is being detained for murder charges after beating an 11 year old student to death for not completing his homework. The teacher claimed that he only intended to discipline the boy. After using a ruler to scare him, the teacher confessed to have taken the young boy outside the classroom and hit him violently in his stomach. The young pupil fainted and later died in hospital of heart failure.
Keep on crying!

Samira, a young girl from a rural area in Egypt that no longer feels her left hand fingers as the beatings from her teacher left the tendons in her fingers destroyed and her fine motor abilities damaged. Samira waves her hands in the air as if to shake something off when she talks about the ten lashings that her teacher often inflicted. "The tenth is always the worst, because the teacher hits the hardest of all."

And a little bit more!
And so it happened to Mina, who received beatings from his teacher, as way to force Mina through physical punishment and lower exam grades with demands that Mina hire him for private tutoring.

Fat TEACHERS throw at us to chew!
First let’s agree that there are honorable teachers out there, with a live conscience but like every earthly segment there happens to be those with a “deadly” one. Let’s break this whole issue down to pieces; first what causes “some” teachers to break out?! After giving this whole matter much thought, I came up with three solid reasons as to why teachers loose it?

A. They never had it begin with:
That’s quite self-explanatory for how many times did you meet somebody, anybody, that you thought was all normal but turned to have a little twist in the head?! I’d say hundreds! And that’s the problem because the people I meant earlier were of the everyday encounter type, the simple if you don’t like them loose them bit. But teachers teach, interact, affect and build characters? Does that mean we have to subject teachers to psychological tests?! Why not, if they have to do any of the preceding they absolutely should, after all no one will want a sociopath creeping their child out!

B. Money fanatics:
It’s no surprise that teachers- especially those working for public schools- don’t make much, nobody seems to do anyway, which makes tutoring their only hope. But how can disadvantage family pay extra fees for tutoring when they can barely afford pens for their kids?! One thing…
Force them to; starting with bad grades to badmouthing, to public humiliation and then moving to painful spanking until submission is achieved.

C. Sufferings in general
Patience is a priceless gift that is also a must for any person who wants teaching as a career. But what would anyone do when…
- His/her entire world is falling apart
- Carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders
- Generally dissatisfied with their lives and frankly don’t see the point of what they’re doing.
Isn’t this all of us? But the only difference is that we only have ourselves
to bombard this negativity onto…

You know what? Once, in primary school, we as in the entire class were abused, not physically, not verbally but financially! I remember this teacher named Madame Magda, she used to teach French and mother’s day was just around the corner, so as strictly ordered by the school, no gifts were allowed only flowers. Accordingly we gave her flowers but she didn’t seem happy, she didn’t even say thank you! The next class she talked about how disappointed she was to have received such “useless” gifts and that she prefers more practical gift! One of the examples she mentioned and I remember the most was an alarm which according to her “would help her wake up to come and teach us every day” and because we had the right to speak at my school, she was fired the very same day!

Schools are the contributing entities where teachers master development. No one has the right to hit anybody’s child and certainly no one has the right to kill masking discipline, the only thing they’re required to do is teach!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

لما الخروف يشوف أخوه بيدبح!

... كل سنة وكل عيد بنقول نفس الكلام!متدبحوش الخرفان والعجول أو أيا كان نوع الأضحية قدام بعض
الساعة دلوقتى 8:30 صباحا والناس كلها فى الشارع مستنين دورهم عند الجزار علشان ينفذو تعاليم ربنا
! بيضة مقفولة خلت الجزار يفز من مكانه علشان عربية الباشا وصلت Van وفجأة جت عربية
بس المشكلة المرة دى مش فى الباشا لكنها فى جزار الباشا
الجزار لما فتح العربية سحب بمعنى كلمة سحب أربع خرفان ودبببببب دبببببببب دببببببب أدبح أدبح أدبح الأربعة فوق بعض والدم مغرق الشارع كله... إنتو عرفين أنا متهيألى إن لو المحل بتاعه كان أكبر شوية كان خلص على الخرفان اللى فى العربية اللى الله أعلم عددهم كام المهم بأه مين كانو واقفيين أو بمعنى أصح مربوطيين مخصوص علشان يشوفو المنظر الجميل ده ؟ خمنو كده
ثلاث عجول وخروف, دلوقتى هو ممكن إن العجول ميكونوش مستوعبين إن ده هتحصلهم لأن اللى بيدبح ده مش شكلهم بس بالنسبة للتبول اللا إرادى متهيألى يعنى والله أعلم إن الخروف فهم

وكل عيد وأنتو بالصحة والسلامة

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Things I think about when quitting my job!

- Ironically, it only takes a grown up to take such a decision yet there’s nothing grown up about quitting.
- If professionalism means I have to watch the world mock my intelligence, then yes I’m at a whole new level of professionalism!
- There’s no such thing as a peaceful resignation, it’s just a code word boss’s use till your destruction plan is fixed!
- Quitting is like divorce; it begins with a promise of a better tomorrow and ends with a bird crapping in your hair!
- Having a loving guy really helps.
- Lending an ear to a pretentious friend is like selling your soul to the devil.
- Being skilled, experienced and honest is who I am.
- If you’re not willing to listen, then I won’t bother talking. Period
- In real life it’s; don’t speak now and forever hold your peace!
- Don’t bother with the truth, for people will only believe what they want to believe.
- Sometimes blindness save us the heartache, that’s why God didn’t give us eyes on our backs.
- If you want success, never settle for less (cheesy yet so true :p)
- One day, my words will speak louder than actions and that is a promise!
- If I had known things will end that way, I wouldn't have bothered worrying.
- Relieve is what you feel when wrong decisions are put to order.
- Even the filthy water under the bridge gets filtered.
- Some opportunities must be overlooked.
- How low can you go; was never my field of expertise!
- The only difference between a deaf person and a self-centered one is that the latter is chooses to listen to none but his own voice.
- If you can’t spot a lie, the odds are you’ll never see the truth even if it hits you in the face!
- To survive in the business world, you have to be a liar, a hypocrite and a suck-up. Period.
- I hate playing the victim role, even If I’m one.
- What’s it called listening to lies? Mmm… A waste of time!
- It’s a 2 weeks’ notice, always have and always will be.
- From this day forward, you’ll be haunted by my Excellency!
- When the getting over part is easy, just know that it didn’t matter from the start.
- Being classy and decent isn’t everything. Period
- Chocolate melts away the fats we’re forced to chew.
- I now know why it’s sometimes smart to say nothing at all.
- When angry, you’re face always manage to cheat your brain.
- Knocking on every door doesn’t make you a beggar but a pioneer.
- Nothing’s wrong about exploring options, that’s why they’re called options!
- Everyone moves in search of happiness, success and satisfaction, why can’t I?!
- It’s easier to say “no” when you recognize you’re capabilities.
- Be glad that the moment is gone and that the time-machine is only a fantasy.
- Lying has nothing to do with perceptions, it’s just lying.
- Why do we always, and I mean always, end up honoring the wrong people?!
- When someone answers el 7amdule Allah, that’s usually your queue to stop nosing!
- Never let anyone in on your personal affairs for they’ll use it against you.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Egyptian sex code (Convo October 08)


In almost every country there happens to be 2 taboos; politics and religion. But in Egypt and some Arabian countries, we couldn’t settle for less than 3; politics, religion and sex!
And even though it’s a taboo, as a society we forced a bunch of codes 3shan 2al el eh nenazam el 3amalya, for everyone has to know his rights and limits! But what the founders of the Egyptian-sex code- whom I sincerely which a lifetime of happiness in hell- didn’t realize, is that what they actually created had put a large crimp in our already scattered world and here’s why…

#1: The porn denial
2olna meet mara, we need a proper sex-education from a reliable and respectful source w m7adsh sem3! Now, it’s almost a marvel when a kid gets educated by his parents about such a life necessity! Tyb what happens to the remaining less fortunate population? Since curiosity happens to be at its peak during teenage years, they’ll find out, ya3ny they’ll find out and the parents will never in a million years believe such thing unless they see it for themselves.
And even then they’ll have to go through 2 stages to develop a reaction. First as they walk in on their teenage son and see him trying to turn off the screen, they give him the “kda y’ Ahmed” look then shut the door before he sees how proud they are that their baby boy has finally grown up and started thinking about “those stuff”.
And then when the incidence sinks in, they bring the boy because they believe that it’s time for “the talk” and a slap or two wouldn’t hurt 3shan el prestige! Now presuming the same situation but for the daughter! The stages disappear and there’s only one reaction “Traaaaaaaaaaa55555555!!!!!”

#2: 5am!
Even though there are no decent guys left in this world, fal naftared that there is a remaining bunch with what can be considered core values. The burning question here is, does every guy have to adopt the 007 attitude to be worthy of being called a complete man?!
And if it’s agreed upon that whatever one has to do to gain the “essential” basic knowledge- thus avoiding being “5am”- is religiously and socially forbidden, then why the fuss?
I personally think that to know as in to read and learn about whatever one needs to satisfy his curiosity is more than enough till his time comes, msh lazem 3mly ya3ny!

#3: 5ebra!
To truly learn about the problem of double standards in our society, you have to look through everything related to sex…
Let’s put aside the fact that God, the creator, didn’t discriminate between the genders in terms of sexual rights and adultery punishment. Humans on the other hand decided to make a law of their own where whenever a couple where caught in the act, the girl gets all the blame with a 3 years sentence and the guy who is treated as the victim who couldn’t help the massive temptation ends up spending a few months in the slammer!
That’s why the entire issue of a girl knowing something even a stereotypical info about sex comes out as a great shocker. Whether b2a she had a physical experience or theoretical info from a reliable source, doesn’t make much of a difference, for still she’ll be perceived as bg7a, 2lelet el 2dab and in some places fagra and should be put down!

#4: Only a manly need!
After all the bizarre codes we deliberately live by, this wouldn’t come as a surprise. Believing that sex is only the man’s right, portrays the woman as the obedient slave who never break the silence. And that’s a huge problem for it doesn’t only navigates the human nature but it also never fails to rip the woman off her rights to re-marry, ask for divorce when the husband is incompetent, etc…The severity of the situation can extend to dark places where sex becomes a luxury most women shouldn’t have and things will move on, bottled up as is, from one generation to the next till adultery cases multiply and eventually equaled with lying as a petty sin!

#5: 2sh3’eleh!
One of the most common jokes that when women get together absolutely have to mention about men, is how they have their ***** for brains! Denoting that sex is all that occupies their mind and hence if you want to keep your man, you better fulfill his physical appetite excessively or else he’ll be running down the streets searching for other women who can! How degrading is this for both males and females? Because if we’re going to take those beliefs for truce then welcome to the animal world where everything is allowed unless it smells like marked!