Monday, March 23, 2009

How to make peace with your in-laws? (HE SAID SHE SAID March '09)

The ordeal of surviving the constant naggers!
There are two inevitable disasters in life people can't change, control or even enhance; parents and the in-laws to follow! There's no escape and unfortunately there can't be any turn backs. Thus, one finds himself over night forced to not dine, not talk, not visit but live with people he's grown to despise. Yet, as life always manages to surprise us with one of its silly ridiculous jokes, we are left with no other option but to laugh. And so my dear readers, we are going to laugh our way out of this snag to a summery place where in-laws are rarely seen or to be more realistic, where it's okay to see them. Accordingly, I hereby promise to provide you with nothing but 100% tested tips on how to silence the constant naggers, all of which have been tried on humans before!

The corrected version of the 6 mistakes couples do when facing the in-laws war!

1. Emancipation!To start dwelling on such sore subject, first you need to read the coming two sentences thoroughly and absorb them all in, as to exorcise the "I can easily ride my in-laws out of my spouse's heart" idea!
1. The other woman in every man's life is his mother
2. The other man in every woman's life is her father
Do I really need to say more or is it quite clear that you can't compete with your in-laws even if their own child loathes them?!

2. Waiting around for some unexpected miracle to come and fix this crappy relationship!Though it might seem like the easiest option, but from where I stand it looks more like a negative attitude. So, you need to speak up for yourself, in a decent respectful way as not to hurt your spouse. If that doesn't or didn't work and you're in confidence that your approach wasn't the problem, don't you dare commit the next mistake!

3. BackstabbingAs some people fail to express their anger in a relieving way, they tend to seek revenge, even the score or show them who the boss is in an indirect manner which usually involves kids! Yes, many people use their children to get back at their cruel in-laws by trash talking them in front of the children, weeping heavily while declaring that their misery is of the grandparents' making or even worse, narrating fake stories their grandparents super smacking abilities! Ruining your kids' childhood and punishing your in-laws certainly doesn't match up, so you have to find another way to communicate your enragement other than through your babies!

4. Calling an outsider for help!If you're looking for a real war then please use that option! Otherwise, keep the wretchedness to yourself! Still, you can vent about the cold looks and harsh comments as much as you please but never get anyone involved especially your parents! Because, even if you finally succeed to get on good terms with your in-laws, your parents won't forget! So the bottom line is, fight your own battles!

5. Expecting an apology from the in-laws!One would hope! But, alas, this will never happen. To start with, they are much older, thus they expect complete forgiveness and utter respect without saying a word. They'll just treat you in a nicer way and that should be enough of an apology for you, plus expectations ruin any kind of relationship let along in-laws relationship!

6. I'm only marrying you & I'll have nothing to do with your family!What a twaddle because when marrying someone, you're kind of agreeing to the whole package. And it doesn't matter if you're living near or mountains away for they'll always send you their best regards in marital problems form! So, this point can really help you cope with your in-laws. How?!
- Always involve your partner in your concerns and worries. If from day one you sensed that his parents aren't that easy to deal with, break it to him in a sly way by saying "I hate to see us suffer because we can't get along with each other's parents, hence I want you to know how my parents are like and the best way to deal with them and I want to know yours" And start with yours first!
- Take crucial decisions on the level of any of the in-laws involvement whether in your lives or your kids
- Finally, if things get completely out of hand, resort to your partner as it's their responsibility to amend your relationship with his/her parents.

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