Monday, March 9, 2009

What your MAN does when YOU're not around?! (Campus March'09)

Sometimes, out of clinginess, the girl will manage to scrutinize every step of her guy’s life. But at one point or another, he’ll thrive to enjoy a moment of solitude without her breathing down his neck! And that’s when birds go back to singing and life once again restores the meaning of freedom. In other words, regardless of your own belief that you know your guy inside out and that you unconditionally trust his utter honesty, there’s always some secrets left untold! Just like you! Imagine what you do on your own time that you won’t be telling him and double that to get …

What your man does when
You’re not around?!

1. When there’s no “us” at work!Your guy, like any other human can’t fight the temptation when an opportunity of being the popular kid presents itself. Thus he’s ready to be everyone’s friend and I mean everyone, including the ever so sexy coworker, the desperate for a guy girl and the attention grabber. Now, I won’t be a total nightmare and tell you that there’s a chance he’ll ignore your very existence but there comes times when you’re deliberately pushed out of the frame. That happens when he compliments his teammate on her excellent choice of seductive fragrance, when he’s suddenly the gentleman who open doors and stand up greeting her arrival and when he’s got all the time in the world just to listen to her heart-wretched stories. Can he do all of those things when you’re around?! NO! And so all you shall be hearing is how brainy, numbingly boring and ugly his coworkers are, till you’re shot in the face by the unbearable truth! And just so you know 85% of guys fantasize about their female coworkers…

2. When alone at home
I believe there are two faces of everybody; there’s the face we put on for the world to see and there’s the one that we sacredly keep to ourselves, reluctant to reveal it even to our soul mates. That being said; imagine everything that annoys you about your guy and trillion it! Starting with the repulsive eating manner only displayed in front of you when massive hunger strike all the way up to spitting, farting, burping or whatever it is that guys’ call the everyman habit. Add to that the feminine side every guy denies possessing which resurface when no one’s around to watch. Remember each time he made fun of you for checking your pores in the car’s mirrors or the way you always complain about your form no matter how long you’ve been starving yourself? He does that too but in the comfort of his mirror, again alone!

3. When All Around your stuffPlease note that not because guys act all indifferent about gossip means that he won’t snoop around your stuff every chance he gets. It happens the moment he borrows your laptop; your pictures will come flying about and so do your diaries. Thus take it from me, if you want your private properties preserved, place them in a non-appealing titled folder. Avoid personal or mine only for they are powerful magnets, instead go for career, lectures or research all of which are guaranteed to make him look the other way. Things can go deeper than this actually when he’s in your room, not thinking dirty thoughts, he’ll go searching for your pillows and clothes! But please don’t suspect perversions until proven, first picture the things you’ll be doing if ever left around his stuff, it’s all about closeness and the joy being around your favorite person’s belongings brings. It’s all inevitable, he loves you then your world is like Treasure Island for him. Period

4. When Alone with friends
A. girls included
Here goes a question that every girl wants the answer for; does or doesn’t he mention me when out with his friends?! For it is needless to say that girls are very open when it comes to their hearts, whoever brings joy to their hearts and whoever rip them off as well! But when your guy is out with his friends, including girlfriends, he doesn’t speak of you unless asked about you. Why? Let’s call it a guy’s thing or better yet this is the time when you’re not here which means he can’t afford to waste such opportunity to brag about his previous love conquests and multiply the numbers as much as he pleases, after all you’re not here!

B. Guys night outUp until the point where it’s a guys only soiree, I believe you have no reason to wonder or worry for boys will be boys with their smokes, games and football matches. But what do you think he’ll do when a girl hits on him, your man, when flying solo?!
He will:
a. give in
b. turn her down immediately
c. flirt a little then turn her down
Well, he can do any of those things and may be even more, but it all comes down to three things, your trust in him, your trust in yourself and the fact that you know his limits.

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