How to act around smooching couples?! (He Said She Said magazine Feb'09)

The ordeal of saving face!

As long as you’re taking socializing seriously, this is the one situation you’re bound to face and put up with! It doesn’t matter if you’re single or committed, for there comes a time when you’re left alone to face two people madly in love and are all over the place! You feel more like a third wheel, an uninvited intruder who is so unwanted that they’d have kicked you out of their zone if it wasn’t for manners and that fact that they specifically insisted that you should come along! Ring a bell?! That’s what I thought…
But if you think that it’s only single woman’s curse, think again or better yet remember the times you had to be dragged around with your best friend so he can meet up with the woman of his dreams. And if you’re saying that such obscene situation can never happen to you since you’re committed and all, well, allow me to disagree! As you double date with your bestest friends, you might be going out for the sake of a fun couply evening, filled with goofy stories about your relationships while they might be looking for a company who won’t judge their sweet smooching style! Got the point?!
So, we have to, absolutely have to; do something about that entrapment and as always I hereby promise to provide you with nothing but 100% tested tips on how to save your face, all of which have been tried on humans before!

Here go two approaches to act about those smooching couple:
1. Get involved! (My favorite!)A. Ambush them with “Oh, you guys are too cute together”
It’s simple, guaranteed and gives you the power to turn the evening upside down.
How?! Follow my lead…
You have to set your goal, if you want an all romantic evening filled with stories about fairies and cupid then ask this:
“What was your first impression when you saw each other?” and let them bore you out with features assured to turn your stomach. But if you’re looking for a fun, wicked night to remember, throw in the ultimate silence breaker: “What’s the one thing you hate about each other?” done and done!
B. Share your memories
It isn’t possible for you to spend the night listening, no one is that generous. So, you need to grab their attention, give them something to think about and compare their relationship to your own! It’s your chance to diversify the talking issues from break-ups to hook ups from the worst date to the one you regret loosing, the sky is your limits as long as you’re having fun.
C. The hot plate factor
Everyone loves to brag about their expertise especially those of human nature, spill some of your controversial views about dating and you’ll pull a remarkable debate interesting enough to put Oprah to shame!

2. Express the Grudge!I truly can’t blame you if all you want is to scream at their lusting faces, it is the easiest most direct ways to tell them you’ve had it with them ignoring you and you can, but in less pathetic way!
Here are your options:
A. You can silently thank God for internet phones that allow you to chat with YOUR people wherever you want and keep you busy.
B. You can indulge in the mouthwatering fudge you’ve always wanted to try that will sweep your mind off people.
C. Challenge yourself with extra difficult Sudoku
D. Take a walk with your thoughts around the place, to the bathroom or wherever you may want to explore
E. Or you can make an obvious statement with rude comments

Warning: Even with all the –look how mad I am- attempts, it’s still not guaranteed to work, for you know how people in love are with the “lost in the moment” attitude.