Wednesday, October 14, 2009

How to tell the relationship is over?! (He Said She Said Sept'09)

I wasn't able to write my August article for He Said She Said Magazine

The ordeal of night blindness...

Seeing the best in people is always the easiest choice. It just saves a lifetime of endless wonderment, thinking and blaming. Settling for what you already have has always been effortless compared to the tiring restless journey of looking for the next best thing. But sometimes holding onto things comes from the inner refusal to give up on the effort exerted to attain them in the first place. Relationships are no different; they may require years to build them, tears to maintain them, sweat to keep them interesting yet when it comes to ending, none of the above are overlooked or even forgotten. That's why people cling, agree to stay in a relationship that is doomed and throw away their rights in humanity when their partners abuse and mistreat them.
This time I won't be taking my Eve-ian orientation in mind, I won't stand by the defeated woman who is forced to stay in a relationship because she has no other options or so she thinks. I won't abide by the new weak male figure that can't speak up and demand a fair trial since apparently heartless women rule the world now. I'll be brutal and just as merciless when handling such an issue simply because I've had it with people suffering from permanent night blindness…
So, you can tell your relationship is over when:
- You're always taken for granted. Your partner expects you to always be there, always be truthful and always be as loving regardless of their intended distancing.
- You've become the second option when they have nothing better to do.
- Your feelings, efforts to impress them, even presence is disregarded. You always feel left out and abandoned.
- This relationship has become more of a burden than an awaited getaway. It takes more effort to get it close to normal or how it used to be, and you feel like you're the only one doing the hard work.
- Expressing simple words of love and admiration have become unutterable!
- You're thinking about ending it all the time.
- You dream about being with someone else, in a more secured relationship.
- You'd rather be alone than be around him/her.
- You're always crying, sad and burdened by your partners actions.
- You've grown to expect only the worst from your partner.
- You've become worlds apart, in terms of needs, wants, aspirations, boundaries and perspectives.
- The trust is killed! You said some words, he did some things that it's now impossible to respect and appreciate one another ever again.
- Even when he/she slips, you forgive and forgive and still your generosity is unappreciated.
- Your partner is abusing you physically, emotionally and verbally.
- You are abusing your partner physically, emotionally and verbally.
- Your partner doesn't trust you, he/she thinks of you as a liar, capable of cheating and ready to walk away any minute now.
- You don't trust your partner, never have and never will. It could be something he's done before or this is your general concept. Either ways the relationship is destroyed.
- Every simple talk or a minor argument turns into a ridiculous unreasonable fight. Your communication channels are blocked.
- You fear your partner rather than respect their presence in your life which consequently pushes you to lie and go behind their back.
- You're jealous of your partner's success in work, social life and the general attention which some people call luck that he manages to always get.
- Your partner is jealous of you and your success in everything that he/she couldn't achieve.
- Your partner doesn't satisfy your basic human needs for attention, love and companionship.
- Your partner's selfishness and exceeding love for oneself has destroyed your self-esteem.
-The passion is gone! You've worked hard to rekindle it. Your partner has worked hard to revive it, but it's just done.

1 comment:

may abouzaid said...

very very good onw
w brdoo in time