Saturday, December 19, 2009

Sadness is not the opposite of Happiness!

Terrified of my man's reckless driving, I searched my Louis Vuitton bag for a stronger distraction. My fingers crippled through tens of lip glosses, two large perfume bottles, an i-pod I desperately need to get fixed and lying under my much heavy make-up bag was a book I took along in an attempt to save it from the dusty shelves of my petite library. The Zahir by Paulo Coelho. I remember rushing into Diwan's Zamalek looking for an inspiration to snitch me out of my writer's rut, when I was puzzled by the title and the fact that I related to it the moment I read;
"I'm not running away from important things, give me an example of something important."
and she replied "Writing a book."
And I remember making a firm promise to myself to finish reading this book in two weeks. A year and a half later, I find the bookmark marking page 21 where the above mentioned conversation was stated. So, I decide to make a new patch, to finish reading the Zahir before 31.12.09
As I go by reading page after page, struggling to keep my eyes strictly focused on words and off the road, I managed to get hooked and instead of bickering with my man, the one who's trying to get us killed, I found the concept of happiness quite argument-worthy.
When Esther approached her husband to announce her leaving to be a war correspondent, the argument of are you happy? popped to bring a seperate sever traffice to my mind.

I never questioned happiness, never actually tried to set a convincing definition for the state of happiness. Because to me happiness is momentary and I can't measure things up to something fleeing, let alone my life.
A child can be made happy with a brand new toy he's forevermore craved, but shortly lose interest and the happiness is gone.
Parents can be made happy with their child's impressive performance at school yet a second later worry about getting him into college.
A mother finds joy in watching her son play and move around but is terrified of his over-activity hurting him.
A wife making love to her husband, thinking it will take his mind off work burdens, to discover she only gave him countable minutes of pleasure.
A student can be made happy with college grades but still terrified of what future may hold.
More and more people experience happiness and try to sincerely hold on to it but somehow it manages to escape and be followed by worry, panic, boredom and fear. And they know it, that's why happiness is considered a life goal worthy of respect and quest. And that's why it's never found.
 
What I believe in is satisfaction. What I can talk about, what I can relate to and what I can stamp as real is satisfaction. Not because of its surreality rather its ability to be measured.
When someone is feeling down or depressed, the first thing he's advised withis to look for the bright side, the filled portion of the cup. The things you have accomplished and managed to get right and done. Are they telling him to be happy? No, they're pointing him to the direction of satisfaction. That feeling where everything else looks minor and unworthy. Where a person can measure and enumerate his life achievements. The only true scale anyone can look at and evalute his time, efforts and life choices.

I can understand when someone says, I'm not satisfied with where I am today, I'm not satisfied with the rate I'm working at to achieve my goals, I'm not satisfied with the goals I chose for my life, I'm not satisfied with my career, I'm not satisfied with my marriage and I'm not satisfied with the person I see in the mirror.
But, I can't understand when people say I'm not happy.
You're not happy because nothing around you is bringing you satisfaction or at least closer to it.
You're not happy because nothing amusing is going on around you.
You're not happy because you're disappointed with yourself and those around you.
You're not happy because you can't grasp what you aim
You're not happy because you aren't capable of enjoying the moment you're at.
You're not happy because you can't see the beauty of yourself, your life and your companions
You're not happy because happiness is momentary.
You're not happy, not because you're sad. Happiness can't be the opposite of sadness, you can't base your spirit status and mood on facial expressions.
You're not happy because you're not satisfied.

9 comments:

Esraa Hegazy said...

Nice! :)

I actually loved this one.. I mean, it's very deep and it's not really an article form.. I do agree that happiness is momentary but the fact is, people aren't always happy, they look for satisfaction like you said. Happiness is just a mood you could be satisfied but a bit upset at something else.

LOBNA KHAIRY said...

Eh dahhhhhhhhhhhh... Esraa, this is the first time you comment here msh 3al telephone :D
SHofty 2oltelek The Zahir is amazing and very mind provocative and I do belive that we're all looking for satisfaction not happiness, but it's just that we're using the wrong term to reflect our feelings... love you babe

Esraa Hegazy said...

Yeah, we are using the wrong term. And 3la fekra ba2a, I commented before on a couple of things on the blog and facebook but it's because I read them from the magazine and not the blog.
Try doing that yourself once in a while keda, would love to hear what you have to say about what I write loool ;p
love u too
xxx

Saba7_Eli_Bet3'anni said...

well I have read your nice post... and I'm so glad you made it to the louis vuitton bags carriers.

but I was wondering...

-what is the color of your Louis Vuitton bag?

-was the Ipod nano or touch?

Thanks for having me here

LOBNA KHAIRY said...

Well... Thank you for taking the time to read my post and go through my blog... But, I think you missed the whole point of the post, or you might have read the introduction only... Because I think if you've read the entire article, you'd definetly have different things to say other than my Louis Vuitton bag... Thanks

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