Sunday, January 4, 2009

How much do you know about your partner's needs? Part 2

Both men and women walk into a relationship searching for the same things, for the love, the support and the warmth.
Yet, ironically, each finds it difficult to deliver those needs to the other! Assuming of course that both parties are mentally stable, they happen to love each other and want for that relationship to go on forever- or so it seems for now! I think it’s the misconceptions we’ve all been spooned our entire lives concerning relationships and the opposite sex ; for example I’ve grown to believe- as most of us- that men are selfish and women are needy!
So, out of concern, I conducted a two questions survey:
A. What do You want from a relationship?
B. What do YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER wants/ would want from the relationship?
The answers to which proved that both sexes want the same 8 basic characters and know their partners want them as well. So, why are we fighting? Let’s see…

5. Regarding Commitment & Fidelity:
Men, want commitment as much as women, it’s just a matter of assurance, men take longer time to make sure that they chose the right woman and probably some more time to get over their commitment issues! Other than that, they want the same stability, the home and the comfort zone. And when it comes to infidelity, it’s a deal-breaker to men exactly as it’s to women, with no exceptions or excuses…
Every woman wants the commitment, the stability, knowing that she has a man – one man- whom she can cherish and love…
Men know women want commitment, it’s sort of a given that even though women also experience cold feet but it’s much less intense. Actually most women can’t wait to commit, they’re known as commitment freaks!
But it’s the part where men think women prefer to commit to a player is where they’re wrong, for women who want relationships never want players. Sure, they’d feel special if a player chose them over all other women but instead of that little voice inside warning that a man might be cheating, they’ll be left with load siren’s screams driving them to insanity!
Women think men suffer commitment allergies, that they’d only commit on physical levels and whenever they find a more attractive “female” they’d drool all over her and leave!
It turned to a common belief that men can’t be trusted to be faithful, they’d run whenever things get just a little bit tough and they don’t seem to handle the whole relationship moving forward requirements that well!

6. Regarding Support:
Men want to accomplish things WITH NO HELP WHAT SO EVER from others. Sure they’d want women to ask if they need it to which they’ll usually reply with a no but preferably to end at that instead of being forced to receive help they never wanted in the first place.
Women want is to have the support they need without having to ask for it… yes we would!
Men think women want NO SUPPORT, believing in the saying “treat people the way you want to be treated” thus out of not wanting to sound too pushy, as long as women don’t ask for it, men won’t volunteer to do it!
One thing you have to know is that the more women love, the more they offer support thus support is a sign of love. That’s why women tend to feel disappointed when men don’t offer that.
Women think men want incredible support! That’s enough said, just gracefully move to the next point!

7. Regarding Sharing & Compromise:
Men want someone with whom they can share the good and the bad, that’s one of the lead reasons why they get into a relationship in the first place. They want the company and the warmth and when it comes to compromise, they actually like to have things done differently once in a while as long as it goes with their beliefs. In fact, having women do things their way occasionally, saves them a couple of fights with the streaming lecture, why do we always have to do things your way?! . Seriously why?!
What women want is for men to stop thinking of them as superwomen who can get everything done PERFECTLY in a heart beat; that it’ll be actually nice if they’d act like gentlemen and offer some assistance without having to ask for it ourselves.
To tell you the truth about us compromising easier, it’s not about being angels but it’s actually the fastest way to get you men to stop nagging!
Men think women want sharing when it comes to emotional, non tasks-related matters, otherwise they’ll be messing up the system for they never meet their partners’ expectations. And knowing that women are more emotional and happen to be more of kind-hearted creatures, thus it’d be easy to convince them to compromise; more like to push over –huh!!!!!!!!!
Women think men don’t want to share anything; they’re so cheap when it comes to words or duties for that matter. Worse, they want things done whenever and however they want them done, no compromise, no negotiation. It’s like I say it, you do it!

8. Regarding Appreciation & Acknowledgment:
Men want more praise to what they’re doing correctly and more acknowledgements that they happen to be good men whom efforts are appreciated…
Also, Women want their efforts to be appreciated, even when she calls to make sure you got home alright, she’d feel a lot better if you’d say thank you, instead of ignoring her calls! Because, take my words on this, there’s nothing that could dry a relationship up as under appreciation…
Men think women want Appreciation… that’s funny because it almost looks like they don’t know women want that!
Women think men don’t need their praise or acknowledgment, they don’t value their opinions either as men are always right!!

Having known all this wouldn’t it be easier if we could read each others minds and hear each others thoughts?
Yet again if we weren’t so different we wouldn’t have been magnetized. It’s in our differences where the magic begins and in our similarities where it subsides…

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