Sunday, January 18, 2009

Is it LOVE that you feel or ADDICTION?!

Back in the days when the twisted human nature was still a mystery waiting to be solved, relationships were accepted as another life necessity. Unaware of the 101 reasons why a person would want to be in one, people just chew over the utter joy and sorrow this partnership brings. And like any other union, you’ll get used to the negatives, as much as you’ll get pretty attached to the positives. Meaning that in time saying I love you will seem so small compared to what you feel inside, fighting the need to be with your love will soon be a battle always lost and the slip goes on till life turns colorless the moment they close their eyes…
Although, it’s uncommon for someone to fall in love without being addicted to his/her source of affection, the thin line between healthy love and sickening addiction is way too transparent for everyone to notice. And I believe that in the midst of our busy lives, while we’re seeking comfort in our lovers- which btw is very normal- some of us might confuse their need for their significant others for love when it’s actually nothing more of an addiction!
Alarming?! Keep reading then…
Despite the fact that being in a relationship is such a sought after blessing, still we can’t be in one for the wrong reasons. And it won’t be fair to define a relationship as an addiction without learning the difference between love and addiction.

So what is Love? Or better yet, what’s it like being in a loving relationship?
Well, as long as trust and mutuality defines the theme for your relationship, you might breathe lightly now that you’re a whole lot closer to “the dream”. To be able to trust your significant other and consider yourself trustworthy as well, simply makes life a lot easier. For each of you get to keep the old friends, continue with the different interests and actually find it fun to have some time alone. You know the typical precaution maneuver to keep him/her yours forever.

But of course there are more to the day-to-day acquaintances than this, at least there are the dreaded moments of vulnerability each us has to slip into once in a while.
And that’s the key sentence, once in a while, but what happens when this “occasional slip” turns into regularity?
I believe it’s time to talk about the “unhealthy form” of relationships and the story of how trust became extinct!
It’s a problem as old as time itself, one partner grows too attached and the other gets stuck having to put up with all the dependency issues that may come along.
How can that happen? Three ways:
1. If one of the two jumped into the relationship for all the wrong reasons like, off the top of my head to avoid loneliness, which is considered the mother of all that is wrong. Because it happens gradually as one turns all weak, pausing life just to be with the other, considering every fight to be the relationship slayer and eventually keeps bottling up inside whichever that is bothering him/her to avoid any potential conflict.
2. If one of the two confuses the word partner for slave! That’s when the possessive shrew comes to light, controlling every movement and hunting each breathe. Basically, it’s when one gets too involved in the others life that kills trust and abolishes equality.
3. If one tends to overlook the infamous5 telltale signs…
a. Difficulty in establishing trust
b. Questioning the need to solidarity
c. Having undefined wants and needs
d. Constantly denying problems and the need to speak his/her mind
e. Considering rebound relationships to be the only road to happiness

If you are willing to admit that either you or your partner is relationship addicts then it’ll be easy to treat it like any other compulsion. So, here goes some helpful steps for a happier you…

Step 1: After making peace with your problem, you’ll probably find it easy to understand that love is only a part of your life, small or big, that’s your call. Just know that it isn’t your whole life.
Step 2: Spend time working on your issues that have nothing to do with your partner. For example if it’s your self-esteem that is giving you a hard time trusting your partner, then start reflecting on your good qualities and improve whatever that leaves you feeling bad.
Step 3: To get over being in a relationship just to be in one, get to know more people only this time expect nothing in return.
Step 4: Like sobering up, you need to abstain from relationships and any resemblance to them.

One last thing that I’m sure lots of people can agree with;
True love is worth the wait…

No comments: