Monday, November 17, 2008

Diva Delights

Welcome ladies … and gentlemen- if only you promise to have an open mind about that, we’ve been through enough- we are here today to discuss an unfortunate incident!! Yes, ladies we are facing a serious problem here, it’s our reputation, it’s has been officially ruined!! We have become the mock of every media; TV, magazines, newspapers even on the internet. I’m telling you it’s everywhere; Top 10 women you don’t want to date, women to stay away from, 10 things men hate about women and much more… What could’ve we possibly done to deserve that?! Is it all because we tend to talk about our feelings a lot or is it that we go public with our problems unashamed of them?
Long ago we fought for our equality with men and when we’re somehow close we are still shown off as the crazy, most irrational gender!! Well, it’s a price we’ve to pay since we’re in the spotlight all of our flaws are in display. No matter what is the reason behind that we need to work here fast. And I happen to have an idea, due time limit we can’t possibly change the feminine figures that caused this mess in the first place instead we can start by justifying their deeds first and look into that disciplinary issue later and here’s how…
I think we should begin with the most common Diva because let’s face it she lives in each and every one of us. We are starting with- drum roll please-

1. The Red carpet celebrity:
You can easily spot that diva, she’ll be walking tall, fast enough to make the noise necessary to be noticed while her eyes casually but fiercely scanning the room. She loves the attention and will do anything to have it! Many can be considered as red carpet celebrities but only a few can master in it. This girl is very high maintenance but not necessarily shallow. What guys love most about her is that they love the look and surprisingly the respect they get when seen with a gorgeous girl. After all it’s not her fault that she’s so obviously attractive that guys are drooling all over her. Who can blame her if she’s to spend hours talking about her shopping sprees, her daily yoga classes and the compliments she’s heard through out the day, that’s all are just overwhelming. It’s only natural if the girl doesn’t want to listen to a guy’s problems or his tiring work journal, she could get nervous or God forbid sympathize with him and ends up with early wrinkles around her eyes. We can all agree here that this is not a pretty image!!

2. The love sick puppy:
Love means oxygen when it comes to this diva. You’ll find her always falling in and out of love, saying that this time is different, that she’s found the one!! She’s so caught up in her emotions that she becomes the classical needy, clingy and whinny girl and before she realize that, her love will be running for his life!!
May be she never knew love before or she’s been so lonely that she gets attached really easy, so scared to face this world all alone. I mean you can never expect her to move on easily after her life has been literally revolving around her guy or do you?! That’s just so insensitive, what do guys expect us to do?! If they’re really good to us and they’re everything we ever wanted, they can never get out of this like that. This could get really UGLY- if you know what I mean-.
“I can see that some guys are babbling back there, we really don’t have the time for that, you need to just shut up and listen to what we have to say!!”

3. The Big Green Monster:
Now this is both fun and realistic. Her life silently turns into a living hell if she caught her guy just glimpsing at another girl, can you blame her?! And since her life will be that hard, guys shouldn’t expect their lives to get any easier. But that’s not all, she’ll be even greener if it was an innocent look to a friend, believe me the walls will be crashing down on his head and I mean it!! Let’s take a moment here shall we, something must have happened for her to act this way. In other words, she has either caught her guy cheating on her before, that she decided no more trust or that he never gives her the attention she needs, more like an assurance, that she’s the only one for him. I guess I’m right on this one, don’t you think?!-Fiercely looking at the guys!-

4. Mrs. Perfect:
This diva has been searching all her life for perfection. She’s trying so hard to avoid any possible but unexpected mistake. Carefully watch the way she talks, dress and acts; you’ll see a true lady!! I know you’re thinking so what’s wrong with that?! But here’s the thing, the tiniest criticism or the most innocent comment could have her dripping in tears with big sad dog eyes. She’s only considering what’s perfect from her own perspective; she wants everything to be perfect that it becomes impossible to argue with her. But I think that this is only normal, after all, the girl is trying really hard, guys should just think of better ways to communicate or learn how to be perfect themselves.
5. She’s the boss:
Usually this diva isn’t only bossy but sly too, she can get any guy right where she wanted before he knows it!! Most of the guys are resented by this type of girls because deep down inside they have this huge male ego that won’t let them go with the flow!! They need to feel mannish about themselves and apparently this can’t be done unless they get hold of everything. But here’s a question, what on earth are we supposed to do if you guys- looking more fiercely- can’t handle a thing!! Should we just let it go and wait for everything to be ruined including our relationships, will that make you happy- more looking- ?! Well, I believe that everything in this world needs a boss, even if you regard you’re self as one and you’re doing it all wrong then someone has to step up and take full control. You just have to accept that, there’s pretty much nothing you can do about it!!- Laughing-

6. it’s a baby girl!!
The thing about this diva is that she’s unsure about everything. She simply drives him up the wall as she sit there calmly asking him for the millionth time what to do, what to wear, what to eat and where to go!! Now this is crazy, I mean its endearing really. I don’t understand what’s so bad about that, she’s your girl and she needs your help to figure out what to do with her daily life. How many times have you come around asking her for advice?! Has she ever shut you down? NO, and she never will, because that’s what relationships are all about being there for each other. I really don’t understand why guys are complaining about that, they turn their cells off to avoid us asking questions in the middle of the day. Guys are always saying that they love to know everything about their girlfriends and when we try to do that, they simply cut us out!! You don’t have to be mean about that saying- now in tears- that you feel like you’ve adopted an 8 year old girl!!
I apologize for that unexpected incident; I guess I was caught up in the moment.
Anyway, I saved the worst for last, now you have to know that this type of girl is really rare…

7. A girl with an Attitude… vicious, bitter and evil:
I couldn’t find an appropriate expression for this diva- I can hardly call her one- but she’s the worst, you need to stay away from her and I don’t mean guys only. Seriously, this girl gets worked up over everything, she starts screaming and yelling simply humiliating you regardless of whatever you’ve done to upset her. And it’s not only about her loud voice that helps the repulsion but it’s the way she acts so brutally inconsiderate of anyone’s feelings. She usually talks or acts so fast that makes your head spin not knowing how to react; you simply stand there in shock!! It’s more like I do and say whatever I want to and you have to live with it!! No, this is unacceptable, but like I said we can’t afford to change them right now so we have to find excuses…
-Silent for a long time- may be they’ve been through a lot that they decided no more Mrs. Polite; it’s me against the world now. If I can’t have whatever I want the normal human way I can use my voice and my vicious attitude!! Oh, what am I doing?! I’m really speechless. If you meet someone like that stay calm or fight back, we are out of options here really!!

Well, remember that we’re doing this for all the girls out and for ourselves. We have paid for every mistake any of those girls have done. Guys think that we are all the same and they are dead wrong. Maybe we share one or two qualities in common but they shouldn’t act like they’re flawless too. Everyone is capable of change even the girls with the attitude problem but only if they find a worthy person. So, spread the word and tell me what happens after all every girl has to get her delights form somewhere!! See you all next time… - applause-

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